He's away at sea, home to him is not to me
We met and dated for a little less than 2 weeks.
We fell for each other.
We are young(20) but we parted in the most respectable, mutual and grown up way - we tried not to be blind or rushed, to understand the impossible short time we'd had and the situation before us. It didn't change how we felt, and we knew we were not in love yet, but that we felt strongly for each other, that we'd come to care for each other.
We promised to stay in touch and take the 3 months he has to sea now to figure out what to do. He's from a town 8hours away with car. Now already before he's left with the boat he says honestly to me that he doesn't know how he'll feel in 3 months so he isn't sure about meeting me again and trying.
I feel more and more the opposite. Even when we've been apart now I've only gotten stronger ties to him. He is so special, I've never met someone like him (neither a person or a guy) in my life and I don't want to give up on him before we've given it a real go.
Am I naive for selling my feelings like that? For telling him that's how I feel? I've taken such few risks in my life and always been in control of everything. This time I'm not, but it feels like it's worth it. It's worth giving a shot, I'm willing to take a risk, because he's him. I understand that he's leaving for a huge work mission now in Syria and that he has little time to spend thinking about me and that things are different for him, but is it still dumb of me to tell him this and hang on to a tiny hope of us?
He made it so clear before he left me that he feels the same for me, and after all he was the one who initiated that we continued to meet from the very start even though he knew he was going to sea soon.
I feel hopeless digging a grave for my trillion thoughts, and I'm so afraid for saying the wrong things or saying too much over the phone while I try to explain this to him. He's such an honest good guy and I have so much respect for him, and it's all returned. I can't help thinking about that it'll be a long distance relationship at first if we do decide on it, and that he just doesn't want that regardless of with whom.
-little unknowing me