why did this guy start anything with me in the first place?? helpp:/

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10-04-12, 06:44 AM
Livelaughlove17

why did this guy start anything with me in the first place?? helpp:/

Alright, I was with this guy for about 2 months (not very long, I know, but I liked him a lot) we broke up 2 weeks ago because he is shipping out soon. The last thing he said to me was "you're a great girl and I had feelings, but I'm going to be in the military for 20 years. It's just best if I leave single." i have heard from a few people including his other ex that he cheats, hits girls, and just treats them like crap. but he was different with me. like after breaking up with this girl he said he just wanted her for sex anyways..but with me he was actually upset about it. here's some of the things he did while we were together:
1. He would randomly kiss me on the top of my head
2. He would said "you complete me" and "you're the best thing that's ever happened to me"
3. We never had sex. We did things, but only because I made the first moves.
4. He didnt talk to any other girls, ever.
5. He would go out of his way to see me; one time he even followed me home to make sure I got there safe.
6. He would act like we were going to get married and have kids, like plan out our future.
7. He talked to my friend about our breakup and he seemed like he didn't want to breakup, he just had to.
8. He would've done anything for me, or thats what he told me; he even told me all about his abusive childhood and how hard it was growing up in his house.
9. he looked at me like i was his child or something; he was very protective.
10. we were alwaysss either talking or together, 24/7.
11. now, he will go out of his way to stare at me..
Now he ignores me, it's like I never existed. I know he still talks to girls that he only dated to get in their pants...
It's just that he seemed to reallllly like me, then just ended it, like that. His good friend told me that he is becoming distant from a lot of people, because he's nervous about leaving. His family is big in the military..
I guess my question is, why did he treat me differently, and do you think he actually liked me/cared about me?
He said that he didn't have feelings now that he was closer to shipping out. Maybe that was just an excuse, since he was still upset about the breakup after?...
and dont call me conceited, but i am considerably better looking than his other exs...did he just want me for sex?:/
any input would be helpful. thanks!

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10-04-12, 09:36 PM
haxan

Quote:

Originally Posted by Livelaughlove17 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

dont call me conceited, but i am considerably better looking than his other exs...did he just want me for sex?:/
any input would be helpful. thanks!

The only thing I can say is don't place too much stock in your appearance compared to others, or ex's. Individual tastes vary greatly.
10-04-12, 10:02 PM
vashti

Quote:

Originally Posted by Livelaughlove17 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

i have heard from a few people including his other ex that he cheats, hits girls, and just treats them like crap. but he was different with me. like after breaking up with this girl he said he just wanted her for sex anyways..but with me he was actually upset about it.

Don't be the silly girl who imagines she is "special". You only dated him for two months; do you seriously imagine he was hitting the other girls after such a short amount of time? It takes TIME to make a girl feel worthless enough to tolerate that crap.

I think he SHOULD go off to the military without a girlfriend, and I think you should be happy he's going before he started smacking YOU around, too. (And yes, pretty girls are subjected to abuse, too.)
22-04-12, 06:43 AM
portlandrocks

I hope that I can say this in a way that actually makes you feel better but: You should count your lucky starts that he is leaving. Guaranteed if you were to be with him through multiple deployments all those bad habits he had with other women (like beating!?!?! seriously, put his a$$ in jail) would almost instantly come back, and probably worse. You would end up way more heart broken than you are know and who knows in what kind of bad situation.

Never forget the good times you had, but seriously, congrats to you.
06-06-12, 12:48 AM
alexl25

You should feel lucky, I broke up with my ex boyfriend of seven years who was abusive, about two years ago. I am not over it still despite counselling, he wasn't abusive until two years into the relationship and I never left, which I regret everyday. He has killed who I am and completely made me look at men differently, every relationship I have had after him has been a disaster mostly my fault because I don't want to love again and I am scarred to. I am a very attractive woman too and I was so out of league he was a complete loser, and because of this I felt like he should of appreciated me more and not abused me, but when it comes to abuse nothing like that matters.
06-06-12, 03:15 PM
James87

Thanks for your post. [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
09-06-12, 06:04 AM
caligirl23

Being in the military is a very lonely thing. Deployments and being away from loved ones often makes people want to cling to someone or something that loves them and they often like the break of being able to be soft instead of being so tough in the military all the time. I say let him ship out, take some time to get through these next few months of training or whatever it is he is doing, and let him make the move to contact you again.
09-06-12, 12:43 PM
Boisdevie

Quote:

Originally Posted by caligirl23 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

and let him make the move to contact you again.

NO NO NO. That is really stupid advice. Tell the guy to get stuffed.
10-06-12, 09:58 AM
caligirl23

It's not stupid! What I am saying is..stop contacting him and leave it up to him. It's her decision how she chooses to respond to him when/if he calls. Read the post I wrote. I didn't say I hope he does contact her. I am saying, it is out of her hands.
11-06-12, 01:39 AM
Cerulean.

I would hope you let him know that you DON'T want him to contact you again. Abusing girls in his past? What were you THINKING to start dating this guy?! I'm glad he broke it off with you. Keep it that way. You'll get over it.
11-06-12, 04:35 AM
IndiReloaded

Quote:

Originally Posted by vashti [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Don't be the silly girl who imagines she is "special". You only dated him for two months; pretty girls are subjected to abuse, too.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Boisdevie [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

NO NO NO. That is really stupid advice. Tell the guy to get stuffed.

All this^. And, I will argue based on your post that he *wasn't* treating you different, if by different you mean respectfully. Think about it: he *told you* he was using this other girl for sex. Don't you see how disrespectful that is? It tells you how he views women, and that he thinks its okay to share his poor view of women with YOU. A gentleman *never tells* and the first rule of dating someone is to see how they treat their exes. This guy has done you a favour telling you so clearly what a jerk he is.

Now, some advice for you: stop thinking that being attractive means you should some how be treated differently. In fact, what is most likely to happen with jerks is that they will use lies and flattery to *make you believe you are 'different'*. You fell for this hook, line and sinker. You may be pretty but you aren't acting very smart. Use your brains next time and ask yourself "why is this guy telling me this", instead of letting him falsely boost your self-esteem at the expense of some other woman you don't even know.