Uncomfortable and in need of wisdom..

Hey all... Hoping for girls advice as to what this might be and where it might go but a guy's advice is fine too.

I have a feeling that some of you would tell me to run fast and not look back , but it's not that simple , so bear with me , i'll try to nutshell it..

My present job , been there for little over five years. There is a woman there, I'll call her Jane.
To be brutally honest Jane and I did not get along at all the first couple of years , there was not much like between us at all. Bear in mind it is a very small office , she has been there for 14 years , my boss is my best friends older brother.

Over the last couple of years Jane and I becaome closer but only on a friendship level , like work friends , talking about whats going on etc lunch , etc.
I had NO interest in her whatsoever , she did not attract me at all , especially since she had a long time boyfriend, to nutshell him , he is a total loser and everyone knows it , including her. They have one child together.

Over the past 1.5 years , I began to notice little things she said or did that made me think she liked me but I was just not attracted to her other than a work friend , I didnt really 'know her' and I do not mess with women in a relationship as it is , I remember once thinking I was going to have to find a new job someday because I felt like she just didnt like me but she wanted to be with me , I got this from things she would say or ask me...

So back in April she started to text me a little , during the day when i'd be out on calls , then at night , I was not into texting much and resisted ( I am presently single by the way ) texting her back , I knew her home life sucked and her boyfriend was about as interesting as potted meat product, an alcoholic , etc.
About a month later I got comfortable with texting her and it turned into a 2-3 hour a night thing , we became much closer at work and as I got to 'know her' I felt myself starting to like her.
( I thought it was mutual and was comfortable with that thought )
Then in July she finally had enough of the loser , she told she wanted it to end and here is where it gets complicated and sorry for a long post... She said we had to stop texting at night unless he is not there because it will make things easier , I really miss chatting with her.

Their income combined is not much and he only works a few hours a week ( how guys like him can even get a girlfriend in the first place is beyond me... ) she has stated that she feels sorry for him but any love or like is gone , there is no hanky panky and has not been for months , on that part I believe her , she tells me a lot , sometimes more than I want to hear , she has said a few things that really pissed me off regarding him , she knows I am jealous.
She cannot get the strength up yet to just tell him to leave , their kid is 17 and does not have a good relationship with the father , she is unhappy in her situation but is reluctant to do it like a band-aid "tear it right off!" , she does not hide things from me and is honest , which I give her that much for.

My feelings for her are pretty deep and I was going nuts holding it in so about 2.5 months ago I told her in a message , she had a very odd look on her face when I saw her that morning , somewhere between trying to hold back tears and holding something in , she had obviously been crying.

Since then it has been a roller coaster of emotions on my part , I like her so much I cant stand it and as naive as it may sound I would wait for her if she wanted me to , but the thing is she has really only told me " I think about you a lot more than you know " which is as cryptic as all get out.
So I tried not to like her , tried to avoid her , avoid conversation with her longer than a few minutes but still trying to be nice , the more I distance myself the more she pulls me back in.

I have made it clear that I like her and that I would like her to be my partner , she hasnt made anything clear other than she is trying her best to move on without that loser , I have offered my help in any form at any time , I have probably done too much for her as it is , been too available and so forth.

I think she like to make me jealous , I know she does not feel good about herself and that I make her happy and feel good.

But I am at my end, I do not know what the hell to do , I have prayed and prayed and thought and thought , I am sick of thinking about it and her , I was so much happier before all of this and I know I need to have that talk with her than will either be final or the beginning.

Am I being used like an emotinal tampon ? pardom my crudeness.
Am I just the kickstand , the backup if all else fails ?
Part of me says I need to be more patient , part of me is telling me I am out of my mind if I think this is going to actually become something , part of is loving her and part of me is pissed at her for not telling this loser to just leave !

The worst part is I have to see her and work with her 5 days a week , and like I said if I do not text her or message her then she does it to me , the more I try to stay away the closer she gets, I do not know what to do.
I do not want to hurt her feelings , I do want to end up hurt myself but I know nothing even remotly concrete!

When I asked her if she liked me or was just having fun , her response was - I think about you more than you know.

I'm going nuts here and I have no idea what the hell to do , please advice ?