Apparently Im Always Wrong
Women are always right isn't right.
So we have all heard the expression "the woman is always right" which ironically, is wrong.
I have been in a steady relationship for about 10 months. We love each other, we live together, we do everything together. I think were perfect for each other.
I love her with all my heart. But, sometimes she just hurts me. What I mean by that is; regularly in everyday conversation she will doubt something I say and immediately accuse me of lying. Regardless of the topic we end up arguing and she says "You just have to be right about everything, your never wrong". She has said this a hundred times. Lets just understand that I'm not a liar. When I was younger I would lie, I was really good at it. Over the years God has brought me out of a lot of harmful ways of thinking. I actually make an effort to tell the truth and be honest, no matter what may come of it. So when someone doesn't believe what I say it highly offends me.
Yesterday, I left the house, I shipped a package, I put gas in the car and bought us some lunch all the while accumulating change. We have a collection of quarters on the counter for laundry, so I put my quarters and pennies and nickles on the counter. I know there were quarters in my contribution because of the weight in my pocket and my hand. See where this is going? I remember seeing quarters in my hand, its the whole reason I put it on the counter and was quite pleased with the small event.
I went to work for 8 hours and came home. My girl wanted to warn me not to spend them. I said "I wont, I actually added some quarters earlier". Innocent enough thing to say. Just letting her know, trying to assure her I wouldn't spend it. She thought I was lying! She said "I made this change the other day for laundry". In my head I pictured the size of the quarter arrangement before I made my contribution and after I got home. She had rearranged them FYI. Now there were more quarters, I wonder why.
So this whole verbal battle ensues about the issue and for the life of me I cant understand why it was a problem, or why she thought I would lie about something so insignificant. She said that thing I've heard a million times and proceeds to speak over everything I say and finishes the fight with " O.k.! I'm going to bed, GOING TO BED, night!" Bear in mind I wasn't being mean I was just trying to resolve the issue.
Why is this? Why am I automatically wrong? I have no reputation of lying to her. Or anyone! but, because of her mindset and the habitual nature of her reactions and preemptive assumptive strikes on my honor she thinks I lie all the time. She just has a habit of not believing me. I think its more of a desire to have conflict, I support this theory with my observation of her relationships outside of her and I.
Another example; One night I took a shower, I washed my hair, bathed, scrubbed and cleaned up in general. She said "Your hair stinks, you didn't wash your hair", In fact I did, "You didn't even wash at all!".
I cant tell you how petty it feels to argue about something I know is true and be accused of it being false. Accused of lying and my accuser cant provide any support or evidence to prove it. This little fight went back and forth for a while. Even the next day she wanted to relive and bask in her imaginary victory over my imaginary lack of cleanliness.
This is only an excerpt from the list of similar situations like this, not including those outside our relationship. I want to reiterate how much I love and care for her. I love when we laugh together and have a good time. Some times while driving we bark at people on the side walk, or Ill scream "Rick Ross!" followed by a Rick Ross grunt and she laughs hysterically. We get close, we love on each other. We generally click on every level. But, at times I feel like we need to work on this area we need compromise and understanding (in the tough times and disagreements). I just don't know how to work on it. Because she already has this assumption that shes right and has always been right in every previous and future encounter of this nature. It will just start another fight WE can't win and it will turn into another situation like this. I've tried withdrawing from the conflict and that makes more issues because I'm not saying "Your right, I was lying, you caught me" How do I make survive this! How do I prove my integrity? Maybe this is just simply a problem she has, Maybe I cant fix it.
I feel, just getting used to it, or just letting her win is avoiding the issue and in any relationship it is an issue. Relationships are supposed to be complimentary, not parasitical. It will eat a whole through the man, or the woman. Its demeaning to believe the idiom "Women are always right" because after a while a man will either feel like a pet in a cage or he will leave and no one will learn anything. The next relationship may end up in the same hole with the same problems. How are you going to work through your problems by letting them linger? In my case its like a booby trap, anything i say or claim to have done could lead to another fight with no provocation. How do you truthfully allow her to be right, right after say something she disagrees with? Likewise one shouldn't seek do dominate the other. But, mutual respect and trust is the answer I believe. If one person in the relationship has a problem with trust and respect because of seeking to win an unfounded, unnecessary fight how does the other help the first realize and works towards fixing it? So the story of man and woman continues...
If you got this far through my long winded writing session thank you for reading. God bless.
