2 day relationship,need advice
i don't know,where to start.but here it goes........
some 2 and a half years back...
there was this girl from my tutorials i used to like a lot.say,her name is amy. so i approached and became friends with her.then the friendship intensified gradually,and we used to talk over the phone,text each other all day.and i realized that i have genuine feelings for her.i confessed my feelings to her,but she insisted that we remain friends.it was kinda heartbreaking but i decided to hang on and be there by her side.whenever she felt low or something bad happened in her life she used to confide in me.i would try to put up a smile on her face in those hard times.we used to flirt,as friends,that is.4 months back,this "just friends" tag was killing me inside.so i thought it would be better off if i didn't talk to her.so i said that its becoming unbearable for me to hang on.so i said sorry,i can't hold on,not anymore.and i am cutting the contacts.she was surprised,and said,that she would open her doors for me,and she wants her buddy back.
let me share the background of her family and her past love....
she comes from a family where her parents are not divorced but they are sticking together just because of her.her atmosphere at home is not at all peaceful.plus there was this guy she used to love who just did not accept her.he torments her by calling and abusing her,at times.but the truth is,the guy still affects her.
now after we cut the contacts,it was hard for me,and i was surviving.15 days had passed.suddenly one morning,one of her friends called me,and from a neutral point of view,told me,that she understands my situation,how it feels to be just friends with someone you love.but she said that amy is in pain.she is not being able to concentrate on her life.she said that i meant a lot to amy.and it would be really considerate of me if i started talking to her,without expectations.i gave it a thought,and thought,if my actions are hurting somebody,especially if that person is someone i love,i should stop doing it.i accepted the fact that she does not love me.and mended my mind to be "just friends" with her,without actually expressing my feelings.
so i texted her and we started talking,again.and she made me promise not to leave,again.
yet again,we started talking all day.this January,she said that she loves me.i was on cloud 9.utter happiness surrounded me.the feeling was awesome,needless to say.her friend texted me to say,that she was very happy.her close friends knew about us,but not all of them.but i don't know what went wrong,just 2 day after her confession she said that she can't say i love you to me anymore.when i asked why,she said she wants actions to speak more than words.the next day a flirty text,which she was supposed to send me,accidentally was sent to another friend of hers.that night she said that she was upset about the whole thing,and that,how can she make her friend understand that "there is nothing going on between us,we are not even dating."that was not true we went out,alone enough.but no,we didn't officially call those outings "dates".i was heartbroken,yet again.i asked that why did you say i love you to me then?her reply was "hey,if you want answers wait for my exams to be over,all i know is that you make me happy,i am not sure"
nonetheless,i still hanged on her exams got over this month.i realized she started texting me less.she would not care if i did not text her the whole day.this thing was hurting me from the inside.so this Tuesday i called her up and asked straight "do you love me?" her reply was "i don't really know.i don't."i asked then why did you say i love you to me,for 2 days she said "i really don't know if i want to call it a mistake" observing my silence again she said "it wasn't".i said,u have said what you had to say,and i did understand.but i can't take this anymore.everyday a part of me is dying inside.all she said was "ok".nothing else.
tell me guys,what did i do wrong?no,i did not abuse her in those 2 days,nor did i have any problems with her talking to her guy friends.i am not possessive.
and now i wait beside the phone waiting for her call or text to fix things up.which is kinda pathetic cus i was the one who told her not to call or text me.but she does not care as if she is happy.
what should i do now?
why did she do it?
this time i did not say anything.she was the one who said i love you(and withdrew it 2 days later)
am depressed these days.
give me some advice.
