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Problem in relationship
I am 23 year old Indian guy. I have a gf which is from another caste. At the time when I proposed to her she said no because of issue that her parents will not say yes to us as we are of different caste. After 3-4 month she said yes to me and we came into relationship after I met her in between these month.We have long distance relationship but she agreed to it to give chance to us.
Now we have 2-2 1/2 yr of long distance relationship.
Now I am studying for public service examination of India and she got selected for probationary officer post and getting her training at Bangalore and I am in pune.
What happened is she now has really hectic and busy schedule so she was unable to give time to me so I was somewhat angry about it and we did some fight. I guess she is frustrated about her studies and now because of us fighting.
Even after yesterday's fight I thought I love her so let's forget it and move forward so I called her to say sorry and to let our fight go but overnight I she decided to breakup with me and said to me that anyhow her family will not be agreed on intercaste marriage and now she even can't give me that much of time so we should break up.
I asked her to give our relationship atleast one chance but she is very adamant on this.
I don't know how to convince her not to break up with me and give our relationship at least one chance.
Please help me .I really don't understand what to say to her now.
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I am really astounded as to how narrow minded Indians in general are regarding love
That caste system and culture ****s that up so thoroughly it’s astounding
My advise: if your exgirlfriend thinks so much about what is acceptable regaring your culture and thinks so little about what she really wants then that says a lot about how she sets her priorities.
I personally could not live with someone like that. Maybe you could
However -and that is quite likely - she doesn’t love you the way you love her and never has
In general Indian men are particularly unempathetic in regards to other people’s emotions. Most of you just can’t (or don’t want to) see how other people are really feeling. Then it comes as a great shock that people didn’t really have the feelings for you that you thought they „ought to“ have.
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This is just frustration talking. Things are simply falling apart and it's become too much for her to think about. Give her a break from all this. When things settle down, she will miss you and contact you again.
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Only thing that I don't understand is we have time like 2-3 years for staring of marriage talks.So why can't she give that much chance to our love .
I told her Who knows what happen in future but she is saying what is today's reality will not change in future .
Her main reason what she is saying is that
She shouldn't have said yes to me the first time ,it was mistake on her part. Now she came to realisation that in future her family won't agree to this and saying I am strong on my decision and will not change . We will talk but it is breakup.
I don't understand if someone geniuenly loves you then why not give at least one chance to it. Men always gets accused of no feelings but what about someone emotional like me. I seriously loves her .
I don't understand why girls can not appreciate guys who geniouly loves them and give them some chance.
Because of this I seriously sometimes think
Why I have to be good guy , only bad guys get girls .
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Talk of marriage is just that, talk and should never be taken as a promise. Things change, situations change, feelings change, ....this will alter the direction of a relationship. It's called life.
Bad guys don't get girls, guys that are confident, strong and have self worth, get girls.
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You pissed her off and then took all the blame on yourself by apologizing. She decided she dont need that kind of negativity in her life and decided to cut you off for her own emotional hygiene and well being. Now stop contacting her cause it wont change things. She really need time off and think abdout everything and perhaps really - she will start to miss you after no contact.
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How do you think she is feeling?