Hello,
I am a woman who has been separated (not legally) from my husband for 10 months. Immediately after I got separated an acquaintance of my husband professed his love to me. We got together and everything was perfect. I told him I cannot publicly acknowledge him until after December (2016), which is when the separation was finalized. He said he is willing to wait and was very loving. To make sure he felt appreciated, I did anything else I could do to make him happy too. During the course of the 10 months, he started getting increasingly insecure, impatient, jealous, and needy. All of which I attributed to the fact that I am not still acknowledging him. By January (2017), he wanted me to introduce him to friends etc., which I did although I was not yet ready. And then he still continued to get more and more aggressive. In between I broke up several times and he asked me to give him another try everytime and I gave it. Then it got even worse. He once threw me out of his apartment at 4 am, totally drunk because I annoyed him by not cuddling and sulking. The next day he apologized and thinking it is my fault to make him wait and do temper tantrums, I took him back. And then, he became more and more jealous and began accusing me of cheating on him. I began giving up meeting friends, doing things I like etc. just to make him feel secure. All this time, i was preparing myself to break up with him eventually. However, he beat me to it. He blamed it on my alleged "craziness", "lack of empathy", and "being a pain in the ass" (I was a bit emotional due to my divorce situation, but nothing that was extremely annoying - stuff like not smiling all the time, looking tensed etc.). He asked for a break. I convinced him to stay and the next day, I broke up because i was feeling tense (he said he loved me so much, but in the last week his feelings changed a bit, and that i should work on it and bring the feelings back). I should have been relieved. However, I felt the opposite and went back and begged him to stay. He refused and said we could see what happens in future (a couple of months later), but not now. He said meanwhile i should give him time to heal. And sort out my divorce.
I have no idea what to do now. Because of his constant demands, I had told my ex-husband I am seeing him. This made my ex-husband (who is normally very helpful and understanding) angry. Then, right when I was in the middle of a huge situation, my boyfriend broke up and left me to deal with everything myself. After telling me roughly 7 days ago that he will always be there for me and he loves me.
My questions are:
a) Will he come back?
b) If he does, should i take him back?
c) Is he emotionally abusive or is it just the waiting that made him angry?
d) What do you think prompted this move from 'I am always there for you' to 'Let us take a break'? Another girl?
Thanks,
Lana
