Her health and weight problems are giving me pause. Am I selfish or superficial?
I'm 55, fit and healthy. A few weeks ago, I met a 52 y.o. woman I like more (behavior, demeanor, personality) than anyone I've met since my divorce in 2010. However, she has neglected her health and body. She has an attractive face and hair but she is significantly overweight and suffers from hypertension, diabetes, etc. I have an active lifestyle that we can't quite share until she does what she says she "needs to do": lose "30 pounds", change her diet, receive treatment. I am affectionate (hug/kiss/cuddle) but I'm not inclined to have sex because of her shape. Sometimes I feel I am falling in love with her but her feelings are clearly more intense and clear than mine. My idea right now is to keep the relationship at a simmer for as long as I can while she shows whether or not she's serious about her health and physical appearance. Am I being or acting selfish or superficial? Any comment, question, advice, etc. is appreciated. Thanks, Professor Kino.