Please give me advice: To stay or not to stay

Printable View

22-09-13, 08:12 PM
confused_heart

Please give me advice: To stay or not to stay

My boyfriend and I have been together for four years, but only privately.we never stay together in public places. He have a son and he is not in good terms with his live-in partner. He sees his son by schedule and was asking how he wanted his family to be complete and happy together. I love him so much and I would definitely want him as someone that I could spend the rest of my life with. However, I don't if he likes to stay with me forever too. All I know is that he loves me but I don't know if he wanted to settle with me. I love him and wanted him so badly. But i know that he's priority is his kid and would do everything for him. I wanted to have someone whom I can call a lifetime partner, I don't know if he can be one. I can't bare the thought of leaving him one day. All I want is to be with him. What am I supposed to do? Am I wrong in loving the guy? Please help. I badly need your advises.
22-09-13, 08:57 PM
Agnus

Sounds like you need a better guy. This one is a hindrance. The problem is where to get a smart guy.
22-09-13, 09:55 PM
Valixy

Talk to him about how you feel for him and that you need more from this relationship. If he loves you too, he couldn't say no to you when all you want is a normal love relationship. Should he start again to tell you about his priority on his child and the bad relationship with his ex, leave and don't look back. Continuing to feel like some kind of hidden mistress when he is supposedly a free man, it's a total lack of respect and love for you. It will hurt to leave him but you will be doing the right thing for yourself and giving yourself a chance to meet a man who wants a real relationship with you and not some kind of secret guilty sex.
24-09-13, 10:16 PM
confused_heart

Thanks valixy! you have quite some very good thought about it. I wish I am that brave to do all those things you suggested. I have thought about leaving him, because every day that passes makes me realize how stupid I am of staying. How stupid I am of expecting to have him for the rest of my life. I am trying to make some start-up steps of leaving him and hopefully in a year or two I can be away from him. I think that he have no plans of settling down with me, there's no need for me to ask cause if he do, he have started making plans of settling down this early.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Valixy [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Talk to him about how you feel for him and that you need more from this relationship. If he loves you too, he couldn't say no to you when all you want is a normal love relationship. Should he start again to tell you about his priority on his child and the bad relationship with his ex, leave and don't look back. Continuing to feel like some kind of hidden mistress when he is supposedly a free man, it's a total lack of respect and love for you. It will hurt to leave him but you will be doing the right thing for yourself and giving yourself a chance to meet a man who wants a real relationship with you and not some kind of secret guilty sex.
24-09-13, 10:17 PM
confused_heart

Yes. I always woke up and realize that I need a better guy. But when I saw I'm just so afraid to let him go. Thank you very much for the advice, I really wish someday I'll find the man who will stood up to me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Agnus [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Sounds like you need a better guy. This one is a hindrance. The problem is where to get a smart guy.