Jealous, Insecure, anxious - Husband Female "Best friend" What would you do?
I apologize in advance if this is quite long.
I really need to get other people opinion on this in order to know that I am not crazy or overeacting to this.
Before even I start I need to tell you I DON'T WANT A DIVORCE!
So here it goes,
I have been dating my husband for the past 7 years and we decided to get married 2 months ago.
Before we got married we were in a long distance relationship for a while, we had our ups and downs. Somewhere along the way I think 4 years ago he met this girls through his brother and since then they became very good friends. He used to talk to me about her and he would show me some nice stuffs she says about our couple so I was not worried there. This friendship went on and every now and then I would hear him talking about her. She lives in another city too so I knew they mostly talk through the phone.
However for the past two years I noticed that something has changed and he stopped talking about her. I did not ask but my gut feelings told me there was something fishy there. I asked him and he said they had a fight , just difference in opinions and they did not talk for months, he also told me it is not like before and they are no longer close. I was a bit relieved because to be honest with you I was feeling he was starting to be emotionally attached to this girl.
So few months before we got married I moved in to his city with him. Then the real struggle started. I saw so many red flags. He found out he was still talking to this girl all day and everyday about all there is to know in his life. I found out that he met her and hung out with her many times without telling me. They even had plans to invest in a house together without even my consent. We got married and I decide to keep observing and take my time to judge if there is really something to worry about. I checked their conversations daily (don't judge me for checking him please!!!) and I was not mentionned anywhere in it. I found out that this girl knew stuffs he didnt even tell me. I one day asked him to give me his bank d�tails so I can transfer some money in his account and use his card and he had to ask her to find it for him because he didn't know where it was. She sends him recipes and askes him if he can cook that for her. She even asked him once if it was him who shipped her a present with the mention that " he can be random sometimes..."All this was too much for me to take in especially during my first month of mariage.
I decided to confront him about it... needless to say that he had already noticed my anxiety and he was just waiting for me to talk to him... He said that this girl is his best friend and she is like a sister to him. I asked him why all the secrets about their friendship now and he said he did not want to worry me as there is nothing there to worry about and he knew I would stress over this and make it a big deal and it is not. I told him how it made me feel and he said he will fix it. While talking to him I also found out that this girl doesn't even know that we are married...he said they were not in good terms then so he didn't tell her. However I know they were texting even on the day of our wedding but he somehow did not judge necessary to say "Hey by the way I am getting married today...". I then told him if he is just friends with this girl then I should be included in this friendship so I asked him to call her and introduce me which he did the next day. He said he values our marriage and he will fix his friendship with this girl in a way that it does not bother me.However I am still not OK with their friendship period. I have never met this girl and now he is not talking about her anymore but I know they are still in touch. I feel like he is just hiding it from me. What would you do? Am I overeacting?