Fear of Dating & Commitment

Have you ever dealt with fear of commitment? Or even fear of relationships in general?

Just to give you a bit of my background...
I'm pretty much the example child for fear of commitment. I grew up with insecure parents who have been in a nonstop un-loving, fight-filled, resentful relationship. I've been in one "real" relationship and I have had many love interests in my life. The "real" relationship didn't work because I felt ignored and unloved and all of my love interests have lead me on and then never dated me. So, I have never had a fulfilling love life to base my perspective of what love is on.

After leaving my last relationship, I've dated a couple of people but I only went after people who weren't very interested in me in the first place. So, I go after people who avoid me because it's now my comfort zone. I have grown to be scared of people who are actually interested in me, even when I am interested in them also! I also get afraid when people get "clingy".

Today, there is a girl interested in me... I think to only hook-up... but she might be interested in more though. Initially, I'm not attracted to her, and I'm scared to go out with her because I don't want to lead her on. But I'm starting to think that maybe I'm not going out with her because I'm scared that I'll get stuck in a relationship that I won’t like.

I haven’t been dating recently because of that exact reason. There are also plenty of girls who are interested in hooking up, but I don’t even know how to approach that scene!

I’m super particular about who I date but I feel like I can’t be too picky or I’ll miss out on all of the foolish dating and hooking-up fun.

Do you have any advice for me and/or would you recommend that I go to therapy about this?