Too much baggage?

Everyone has baggage, and sure it affects how we enter into and perceive new relationships. For me, I take my baggage and focus on what I learned from that experience about myself as far as what I need and want in a relationship. It becomes an easy conversation to have with a new SO and I think more healthy.

The last girl I dated seemed to have a lot of baggage ranging from her current work/money/living situation to a bad 8+ yr marriage to a controlling ex-husband. She was very hesitant about getting into a relationship from the beginning but we thought we had a great connection so we pursued it.

From this experience, I think that baggage is OK if you use it constructively to build a relationship. On the other hand, if you are so consumed about not making the same mistakes again, baggage can just as easily undermine a relationship.

Sadly, I recently broke things off with her and what's worse I started writing this thinking she was the problem but now I think it was me :(

Why do you think you were the problem?


How long has she been single for? Didn't sound like she was emotionally ready to commit as it was to soon?

You were the problem because deep down you knew her baggage would be an issue but you ignored that red flag and pursued. Any baggage being dragged around with you is unhealthy and unhealthy for any new relationship IMO.. people need to face and conquer their demone ALONE before getting with someone new

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You two are both right. But neither of us wanted to pass up an opportunity for a promising relationship just because of bad timing. We both gave it a shot and now we are both hurting, but at least we won't be wondering "what if we only took a chance".

But you could have both had time out to heal and deal with baggage before getting into a relationship.. that way you may still be together

Im not saying that to make you feel bad. Whats done is done. Just saying it so you can learn from this and not make the same mistake again. You gotta protect yourself from people whove these kinda problems coz theyl just hurt you

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Originally Posted by 98db [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You two are both right. But neither of us wanted to pass up an opportunity for a promising relationship just because of bad timing. We both gave it a shot and now we are both hurting, but at least we won't be wondering "what if we only took a chance".

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That's exactly what i've been through.

The timing wasn't right & it didn't work.

Easy to say though I keep telling myself that if it is meant to be it will be.


Good luck :)

I'm not holding my breath for this one. I've passed up far too many possibilities that I am more than willing to roll the dice rather than live with the wonder of what might've been.

A broken a heart is temporary, but regret can last a lifetime.