How to approach girls

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10-03-11, 09:21 AM
tiffanysb

How to approach girls

I want to get myself out there and start dating but i have trouble approaching girls.
I seem to get into the friend zone a lot too.
Also now that i think about it every girl that i have talked to and openly knowing that we like eachother, the girl was always the one to make the first move and approach me.
One reason for this is because im shy, even though i hate admitting it.
Also i dont know how to talk to girls or even really flirt that well. I cant tell if a girls interested, and even if i think she might be, i fear being rejected.
What are some helpful tips on getting girls?
10-03-11, 10:10 AM
imagineallthe

this will sound very boring, but you need to be yourself and relax about it. The guys i've fallen for have always had that confident quality (not ignorant or full of themselves). It's attracting to know they're in no rush, not looking to get laid. You DON'T have to know all the secrets, you DON'T have to know how to get girls - they come when you stop stressing about it. and whoever girls you attract that's only looking for status/money/good looks, etc., are not the kind of girls you would want. going out clubbing, making eye contact with a girl, and for have her to look away ignoring you, is no big deal! anyone can be shallow! it may seem like you want those girls - but when you get in a good relationship with someone, you'll realise nothing compares to someone who's in love with you : ) and the falling in love/being smitten, needs to be built on something more solid than "hey sexy, you look really good - wanna check out the poster collection of 'Saving Whales' in my room?".

and instead of direct flirting, just try smiling. Smile big, don't even care if she notices, just look her in the eyes and smile without any expectation. Girls can seriously smell expectations;) it may even be in you just because you're really crazy about meeting some woman. Try to relax, give it some time. Guys have no idea how easy it actually is to get girls :P

wish you all the best.
10-03-11, 10:41 AM
Klim

Quote:

Originally Posted by imagineallthe [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

this will sound very boring, but you need to be yourself and relax about it. The guys i've fallen for have always had that confident quality (not ignorant or full of themselves). It's attracting to know they're in no rush, not looking to get laid. You DON'T have to know all the secrets, you DON'T have to know how to get girls - they come when you stop stressing about it. and whoever girls you attract that's only looking for status/money/good looks, etc., are not the kind of girls you would want. going out clubbing, making eye contact with a girl, and for have her to look away ignoring you, is no big deal! anyone can be shallow! it may seem like you want those girls - but when you get in a good relationship with someone, you'll realise nothing compares to someone who's in love with you : ) and the falling in love/being smitten, needs to be built on something more solid than "hey sexy, you look really good - wanna check out the poster collection of 'Saving Whales' in my room?".

and instead of direct flirting, just try smiling. Smile big, don't even care if she notices, just look her in the eyes and smile without any expectation. Girls can seriously smell expectations;) it may even be in you just because you're really crazy about meeting some woman. Try to relax, give it some time. Guys have no idea how easy it actually is to get girls :P

wish you all the best.

Hmm... I partially agree with this.

For me, I'd say it's not all about confidence. Sometimes, it just matters who the person is. If I know a person has been with a surprising amount of people, I'll think "wow, if those relationships didn't work out,'I don't know how this one will." The one guy at school I would've gone for a bunch of years ago* would have been that one shy, selfless, quiet person who sat in the back of the class and never got in trouble. I'm also not like other people, so don't base your expectations off me. I'm just saying you don't NEED to be confident and know what you're doing for EVERYONE. That's just my two cents.

Also, as the person in the quote said, be yourself. Don't be someone else if that person is more/less confident than you are, or more/less "interesting" than you are. Act like you would around any other person. Girls are regular people, too.

* a bunch of years ago, as in before I realized I'm not into guys.
10-03-11, 07:27 PM
imagineallthe

Quote:

Originally Posted by Klim [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

The one guy at school I would've gone for a bunch of years ago* would have been that one shy, selfless, quiet person who sat in the back of the class and never got in trouble. I'm also not like other people, so don't base your expectations off me. I'm just saying you don't NEED to be confident and know what you're doing for EVERYONE.

Couldn't agree more! I just assumed he wanted to get along in a setting with girls and immediately thought of confidence (not the showing-off kind, but the "yeah, I'm me and that's OK"-kind) as a good quality to have - but when you mention it, I'd also go for the quiet, shy guy in the back of the class=) Simply because those are the people who are themselves. Confidence is no must, just be yourself! We are not designed for being loved or liked by everyone - and it's all worth while when you meet someone who likes you for you.

(Pendulum - The Island explains sums up my thoughts, just for the record).
11-03-11, 09:39 AM
tiffanysb

Quote:

Originally Posted by imagineallthe [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Couldn't agree more! I just assumed he wanted to get along in a setting with girls and immediately thought of confidence (not the showing-off kind, but the "yeah, I'm me and that's OK"-kind) as a good quality to have - but when you mention it, I'd also go for the quiet, shy guy in the back of the class=) Simply because those are the people who are themselves. Confidence is no must, just be yourself! We are not designed for being loved or liked by everyone - and it's all worth while when you meet someone who likes you for you.

(Pendulum - The Island explains sums up my thoughts, just for the record).

The last part of this is very well put. Its true that we're not made to be liked by everyone. I'm going to continue to be myself.
11-03-11, 06:29 PM
UnknownSld

I am pretty positive you are looking for answers from females but I just thought I would give you a little advice as well. First, I would like to mention that even at the age of 26 I have not had many relationships (only two to date). But I have noticed that women like men who are confident in who they are. Being yourself is a big big thing. I am shy as well, but I get females flirting with me when I go out. My only problem is most of them are to young or I just don't notice it until it is to late. These beautiful ladies who wrote before me are all right with the advice they gave you. Just relax and let things happen as it comes along. Have fun, don't stress or worry about being shot down. As the old saying goes, "there are plenty of fish in the sea" and it is completely correct. Lets say you approach 20 women in one night, you are bound to get at least one truly interested in you. But it comes down to being relaxed and being yourself.

Do not be to eager to get their number and another thing would definitely be to play a little hard to get. Ladies you can agree or disagree with me on this, but I have noticed from personal experience that women do not always find themselves interested in men who are to quick to jump and give them everything the woman asks for. Try to get her to chase you a little but do not be to distant. Let her make the first contact, if she is really interested and hasn't heard from you in a few days, believe me she will. First time SHE asks you if you would like to do something, even if your not busy that night say you are and make plans for another night. Works for me and many of my friends. Being to available, many women will get bored to quickly. But definitely take what these lovely ladies have given you and keep it in mind. Who knows women better than another woman, right? I hope this helps and the best of luck to you.
17-03-11, 04:43 PM
Miil

For me it works if a guy just comes to talk. Also self confidence and kindness are good things.