Bisexual girlfriend...

Hi.
Yesterday my girlfriend asked me if I considered her kissing with another women as cheating...
The next thing I know she is telling me she had been planning to go to a lesbian bar with her best friend and invite 2 other girls over to her house to watch some porn movies and go down on eachother...

She told me this without any hesitation, like I wouldn't really care...

I didn't really know how to react so I didn't say much about it and the subject was off my mind till she left...

I don't know how to feel right now...

Sleeping around IS sleeping around, whether it is with another man or with another woman. Are you okay with her sleeping around? If not, then I guess you know what you need to do...

to me i would be abit worried if she wasn't hesitant. and went into great discription about it. its ether she bord and looking for somethign else. just exploring(but honestly why do it when going out with someone. its basicly cheating i reacon, with a man or a girl. its still cheating)

have a serious talk about it. why she wants to. why does she have to do it. why does she has to do it still going out with you.

ask her any questions. if she pressures u into an answer then tell her. hey u asked me so ur gonna wait for my response

Ask if you can film her with these other girls. Then make some money buy charging your mates to watch it.

Then dump your girlfriend. She sounds like a right tart. No offence mate.

Dump Her.

She is trying to take advantage of you. She thinks you are dumb enough to not care if she does that kind of stuff. The truth is she probably won't care if you break up with her. You need to find yourself the right person. You know what you need to do...

Thanks for the replies
But I need to tell you something with it, She had planned the thing (lesbianclub) before she met me, and now she is asking if I would mind...
If I say I do mind, then I know that she won't do it...

I love her alot and I don't want something like this come between us.

What should I say to her?

If she is bisexual you saying you mind and her not going is not going to make her not bisexual. If she likes girls she is going to like them reguardless. You should let her go and see if she's gay, bisexual or neither.

I've always wondered if i'm bi.. I dont' think my bf would be ok with that kind of exploration though. Ah well. I'm patient.. maybe one day we'll have a threesome, i'm sure he'd be okay with that :goofy:

anyway, I agree, cheating is cheating, whatever gender it is. Though in this case, it wasn't that she kept it secret; it's that she was open, as if it wasn't a big deal. "hey pass the butter please and by the way can I have lesbian sex?"

You're either okay with her experimenting, or you're not. You said yourself that if you told her no, she'd honour your choice. So you have to decide how you feel about it. To me personally, it's like this; she does it without telling you = cheating. She asks you and you say no but she does it anyway = cheating. She asks you and you say yes = not cheating. So it's up to you.

It seems to me the thing that bugged you is specifically the way she told you. She wants to have you, and yet she also wants to have fun with her girlfriends; and she just figured this was okay. She should've told you when you first got involved.

I don't know what else to say.. Do you think this exploration is really important to her and she simply underestimated how big a deal it was to you? Or does it feel like she's using you and having fun on the side?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by shai`anne

If she is bisexual you saying you mind and her not going is not going to make her not bisexual. If she likes girls she is going to like them reguardless. You should let her go and see if she's gay, bisexual or neither.

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Are you like..... not good at reading or... just not the brightest bulb? Im sure you probly just did not read the post so. Anyone would get mad if there bf/gf was doing stuff with others unless there into that stuff. Thats like me being your bf and saying "Hey, im gonna go **** a few of my friends. See ya later.". Yeah.... think on it more.

cheating is cheating no matter what the sex of the partner IMO

This is a hard one to get through at times.

You want to understand her needs, yet at the same time she needs to understand your feelings.

If your really against it, she should accept and understand that .. if she goes against your wishes and does what she likes then she obviously doesn't care that much about you afterall.

I hope it works out for the two of you, just remember to talk and express your feelings, don't hold back anything.