Who's 'job' is it to make you happy?

Post null and void.

It isn't your responsibility to make her happy, but it IS your responsibility to give her routine breaks from those seven kids so she is free to feel like something other than a mom.

Have you thought about arranging a babysitting co-op? You may have to split your kids up into a couple of different houses since there are so many of them, but this might enable you to get some "free" time off. You know - you farm them out to someone else in exchange for watching their kids on a different night....

Ideally its her responsibility to make changes if she is not happy.

That being said though, I think she would really appreciate knowing that you do care and notice that she hasn't got out much lately. Maybe a simple gesture such sending her out for a pedicure or a massage would make her feel good. I think if you do something to show you care, she'll reciprocate.

Ultimately, it's our own responsibility to make ourselves happy. The spouse's job is to facilitate this. This is a mutual responsibility.

vashti I can handle my kids jsut fine. I dont require a break from them. And I watch many other children everyday for free for my friends. Their husbands make an effort to go out. Infact his post is about the me asking why we dont. He got upset you know money. free house we live in by the way, debt free also.

He is not social, I cannot take him out without him making people feel pushed away, or stand offish. Even the members of our church are so put off they wouldnt ask him to help re do the church, they prefered to get a 70 year old man on a ladder to aviod trying to communicate with him.

It shouldn't be a "job" to make yourself happy, it should be a "pleasure".

You should be there to SUPPORT each other, not MAKE each other happy...you have to be happy on your own.

I have been focusing on the wrong things, like sex, and blaming her for my own short fallings.
I have shown her many, many, many times that I didn't thing she was important, or mattered. Instead of learning somthing, and dealing with my own bad behavior, I just pushed till she back down, leaving her feeling like she was somehow wrong, and I was left feeling faultless.