in love but sexually unsatisfied
i have been in my relationship for almost 5 years and we are expecting our first baby together . i love him deeply he is a great man and such a kind heart but when it comes to our sex life im afraid it has fizzled away . in the beginning it was mind blowing life altering sex sessions which i know is normal in the "honeymoon" and now just the same thing .. i go down on him which turns me on then we have sex same 4 positions last maybe 20 mins then he finishes and thats that.
there is no romance , no foreplay, ...he never goes down on me which i guess is because he not into it anymore because in beginning he did but then that stopped and now i dont even want him too because i feel like he doesnt enjoy it or he just doesnt like me down there ,i was paranoid it was hygenic so if i ever wanted him to go down on me i make sure im fresh and stopped letting him ejaculate inside of me as to not upset my ph balance and stopped using strong soaps , i know i dont smell as i had an issue before with ph balance didnt expect him to then but now its not the issue . i have long labia as well which im very self conscience about especially when you see the vaginas of women in porn,which is maybe another reason he wont ? now it not even an option , he never even attempts, it has been 4 years since he has given me any oral pleasure even though i always make sure he gets his and i enjoy it because he does..and now he has made me feel so bad about it i dont even want him to because i feel like its forced .
if i at least had some real foreplay then i guess i could learn to deal with never being orally pleasured but even if he fingers me its for maybe 5 mins then he just goes in for the kill. i masturbate all the time because that is the only way i ever orgasm. he doesnt do romantic things ever like set the mood no candles massage kissing rubbing . im so fraustrated i have made comments but changes nothing , im sure in his mind the sex is great because its important to me to pleasure him .
unfortunately i dont think its as important to him
i know sex is not most important in a relationship and its not that our sex isnt enjoyable .. i just need more
the other night i shaved down there which i just let go because he never even pays any attention down there except to stick it in . i made sure all was nice and trim told him i shaved just for him , then we started to fool around i was giving him head and i guess i was doing it very well cause 10 minutes later he told me going to cum so i stopped and then he came , nothing for me not even intercourse. he could tell i was disappointed so he said we could have sex later , then he just went downstairs went to bed. makes me sad because he has become a very selfish lover
that why im writing this post ..i need some help\suggestions