Odd situation with someone younger than me.

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18-07-11, 11:41 PM
yellowbiz

Odd situation with someone younger than me.

Hey everyone !
I'm sort of confused about this thing with a "friend" of mine, you'll see why the quotes in a bit..

Hell, first of all I'm wary about the whole friendship thing with her, you see, I'm 25 and she's 15, our families know each other and I met her on this family BBQ we had once, so that's how I know her.
I've never had someone that young as a friend, so I'm not entirely sure about how appropriate is it.. I wouldn't mind hearing your opinions about it by the way, as it relates to what I actually wanted to ask.

It's obvious to me that I've grown to like her, but I never thought of her as someone I might actually be interested in. I don't see her as my little sister but I don't see her as a potential girlfriend either !
We live in different cities, 2 hours drive, so it's kind of difficult to hang out with her, so we usually chat on Facebook or talk on the phone. I feel like I constantly miss her when she's not online. I also think too much about how she feels about me, for example I initiate most if not all conversations with her, so I often think that she doesn't really want to be my friend, let alone talk to me, because she doesn't initiate contact with me. I never did that with any of my past or current friends !
I also feel like I'm jealous of her boyfriend, not generally, but when I see them together or when we talk about them, it really bothers me for some reason, because I don't want her as a girlfriend !

So.. what the hell is going on ? I don't like where this is going.. I'm not *that* kind of guy.
Do I really have a crush on her ?!
What should I do about this ? Break off contact ?

With all that said, I really don't think that I'm interested in her, I just like her as a friend, but I have to sort this mess out because it really affects my mood !
I could talk for hours about this but I'll leave it at that, unless you want to ask something.

Edit:
Oh yeah, I wasn't sure where to put this, and I don't know any other community that cares about this stuff other than you guys.
19-07-11, 12:19 AM
Sonrisa

IMO it's perfectly natural. i've had boyfriends much older than me when i was 13,14,15. however it's your responsibility to make sure that it never leads to intercourse, since she is far too young and willing to control herself (ha ha!)

in any case, be afraid and careful.
19-07-11, 12:38 AM
Wakeup

I think she sees you as her older cousin or something. You give absolutely no indication that she feels for you in any other way so why keep pursuing these romantic thoughts of yours?

My suggestion: Back off until you've become a little indifferent to her and this crush you seem to have on her. Get out and meet woMEN in your area that you can actully have a relationship with. Keep busy doing things that are of interest to you so that you're an exciting and interesting guy to member(S) of the opposite sex and forget this little girl who doesn't seem to view you in the same way you view her.

She'll contact you if she's interested in something more than being your "cousin" and wondering what you've been up to.
19-07-11, 12:44 AM
vashti

I think you should back WAY off. Assuming she doesn't think you are gross in any way, having the attention of a man so much older than is is too much for most 15 year olds to be able to handle, and if she understands what is going on in your head, she will be pushing all sorts of boundaries to discover the limits of her sexual power.

She is a child. You are not. Please behave with responsibility.
19-07-11, 12:45 AM
Sonrisa

Quote:

Originally Posted by vashti [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I think you should back WAY off. Assuming she doesn't think you are gross in any way, having the attention of a man so much older than is is too much for most 15 year olds to be able to handle, and if she understands what is going on in your head, she will be pushing all sorts of boundaries to discover the limits of her sexual power.

She is a child. You are not. Please behave with responsibility.

i was a bad bad child....
19-07-11, 01:17 AM
oldskool83

just keep it real is all i could say, i dont have much to really say about this topic. But maybe you should look up some consent laws in your state also just to buzkill any chance of ideas forming in your head or hers.
19-07-11, 01:28 AM
yellowbiz

Well just to clarify, I was never inappropriate with her, I'm really on a friendship level with her when we talk, nothing sexual.
I think I will back off for a while.

Am I to disappear without a warning and ignore her or what ? I really do want to sort it out but I don't want the result to be losing her completely, unless it's necessary :(

Edit:
LOL why the hell is the /sad emoticon a troll's face ?

Quote:

Originally Posted by oldskool83 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

just keep it real is all i could say, i dont have much to really say about this topic. But maybe you should look up some consent laws in your state also just to buzkill any chance of ideas forming in your head or hers.

About that, the age of consent law here is 14 if your partner is 0-2 years older than you are and 16 without any restrictions. (so 14+16 is good, 14+17 is bad | 16 can be with anyone).
So it would be illegal for me to, ugh, be with her.
But I don't want that regardless of the legality of the situation !
That's why I'm so confused about this :/
19-07-11, 02:01 AM
leoben

Quote:

Originally Posted by yellowbiz [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Well just to clarify, I was never inappropriate with her, I'm really on a friendship level with her when we talk, nothing sexual.
I think I will back off for a while.

You would be surprised how quickly it can turn from friendship to sexual.

Stay away, my friend is spending 6 months in jail for sleeping with an underage girl. Not only that but he's probably going to get stuck on the sex offenders list and he already lost a public sector job that took him over a year to get. They don't mess around with statutory rape.
19-07-11, 02:39 AM
oldskool83

you can talk with people, you can hang with them, u cant do anything. and honestly is shes 2 hours away when are ya even gonna see her to even walk down the street to get a slushy or that jazz. so ya talked to some 15 year old at some family function, i could walk into a gas station in my town any fri or sat night and talk to some young girl, eat my meal hop on my cycle and end of story. just end your story now, shes 15 and if you remeber back to when u were 15 its so wish washy you like this person this week, the next week you hate them and yuou like somone the following week. she is not gonna remeber jack shit about ya unless ya keep in contact via facebook and maybe, just maybe 3 year from now she might remeber ur face or name and invite you to watch her walk up a stage to get her diploma with a bunch of other firm body not fully delevoped friends...

now doesnt that just sound all wrong? go to the bar and strike up a converation with some that you can buy a drink and legally look down their shirt lol.