Some advice needed!

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15-10-09, 06:09 AM
Tri'elle

Some advice needed!

Hi all, hope everyone is okay.

As something of a disclaimer, this isn't at all a big problem and I understand that it is trivial compared to what a lot of people are going through.

It's all a bit stupid really, but I don't have much too lose by telling you all this. There is a girl at my college that I have liked now for a few weeks, I don't know her personally but I see her around a lot and we frequently make eye contact. She is pretty and from what I have been told, a very nice person.

Myself, I am not at all confident, I am useless at approaching girls, which is why there has been no development, positive or negative, in the last 2 months - until today.

I found out on the dreaded Facebook, that she likes one of my best friends. He is fairly popular with girls, despite having a fairly dull personality. I was devastated when I found out, more bothered than I probably should be. I know for sure that she likes him, I don't know his side of the story, but I think there is a reasonable chance that they will get together.

I am good friends with some of her friends, who are in a position to help me out, I'm sure they would rather see me with her than him.

Basically, what I want to know is, what should I do? I know it may seem like I'm overreacting, considering I don't really know her, but there is something about her that fascinates me and something tells me that we would be great together.

Anyway, any advice is welcome.

Many thanks, Stick To Yr Guns and take care.
15-10-09, 06:22 AM
MVPlaya

I'm going to sound harsh, but just know that I am telling you this to get you to improve yourself.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tri'elle [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Hi all, hope everyone is okay.

As something of a disclaimer, this isn't at all a big problem and I understand that it is trivial compared to what a lot of people are going through.

It's all a bit stupid really, but I don't have much too lose by telling you all this. There is a girl at my college that I have liked now for a few weeks, I don't know her personally but I see her around a lot and we frequently make eye contact. She is pretty and from what I have been told, a very nice person.

Myself, I am not at all confident, I am useless at approaching girls, which is why there has been no development, positive or negative, in the last 2 months - until today.

If you don't get over your fear of talking to pretty women, you will never, ever be with the girl you want to be with. Do you understand that? You can spend these next two months making no further progress and relying 100% on your friends to get things together for you, and odds are they have their own priorities, or you can make a move and stop being a wuss.

Look, I've literally had a girl tell me to go **** myself and to leave. Do you know what happened? Nothing. I just talked to a different girl and took her home that night. THERE IS NOTHING WOMEN CAN DO TO YOU UNLESS YOU LET THEM.

You need to grow balls and take whats yours in this world. This entire bullshit Hollywood myth that there is someone out there for everyone is just wrong, completely wrong. There are many perfectly intelligent, nice, lovable people who NEVER get what they want, or think they deserve, in life because they don't fight for it. No one else will fight for you, if you don't do it, its game over. So learn to fight for yourself.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tri'elle [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I found out on the dreaded Facebook, that she likes one of my best friends. He is fairly popular with girls, despite having a fairly dull personality. I was devastated when I found out, more bothered than I probably should be. I know for sure that she likes him, I don't know his side of the story, but I think there is a reasonable chance that they will get together.

If you are nervous around women, what are the odds that this girl will like you, like you said, he is fairly popular with girls, and you have spent two months nervously making eye contact.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tri'elle [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Basically, what I want to know is, what should I do? I know it may seem like I'm overreacting, considering I don't really know her, but there is something about her that fascinates me and something tells me that we would be great together.

I'll tell you what that is, its that she made eye contact with you. You are desperate and don't get female attention then, lo and behold, a pretty girl made eye contact with you, and your emotions ran wild because you don't have a lot of experience with this situation.

There is nothing you've indicated about this girl that shows that you would be good together, all you have said is: 1) you are desperate, 2) she is pretty, 3) you made eye contact. Thats it.

Quote:

Anyway, any advice is welcome.

Many thanks, Stick To Yr Guns and take care.

My advice to you is force yourself to talk to girls. Not just girls you are attracted to, any girls really. Just learn to converse with women as actual human beings and not as targets that you are attracted to and need to be seduced. Just as people. Learn that.

You will not have any choice in what women you can date unless you learn that.

As for this girl, your friends can do nothing for you. At best, you can have them 'introduce you,' and do not, under any circumstances make it obvious or it will become awkward fast. Thats one way you can skip the dreaded approach.

But the fact of the matter is you will have to make the dreaded approach at some point in your life, the longer you procrastinate, the more you screw yourself.
16-10-09, 02:13 AM
Neo(n)

I totally agree with what you’re saying, and i myself are in a similar position to opener.

I've got a question that i believe will help both Tri'elle and me. How exactly do you approach a girl, in a college, who you don't know?

I could imagine going and talking to them, but then i just can't help thinking the whole thing would be ridiculously awkward which nobody wants.

Now i know there’s the whole, try and if you fail, so what! Idea, but surely there are ways to approach someone without 'expecting and not caring' if it’s awkward or something??
17-10-09, 03:32 AM
pastord

Be there for the girl at this moment. She has someone she likes and it won't help you if you try to disrupt that. Let it run its course but continue to get to know her and maybe whenever she drops this guy, she will realize you might be the one.