Dealing with conflicting differences in long-term relationship
Hello.
Meaning of this post is to help myself and hopefully some other people with similar issues, and at the same time help me get some steams out of my system.
I`ve been living under the same roof with my girlfriend for about 2 years now. We`ve never been 100% alike but we neither ever had unbearable conflicts in our styles of living. Lately tought things have taken a big leap towards a huge conflict:
She met a bunch of new friends maybe 4 weeks ago, and I`m glad she did as I wish the best for her of course. The problem is that the friends she met are way too outgoing/have too much spare time for our life as I perceive it. AND they are quite young, haven`t yet established their own lives, are single and hang with each other 24/7. And my girlfriend has kind of joined their livestyle, which leads to the huge conflict.. :
Since we live in good area, close to everything+her new friends don`t really have their own places, they hang around our house a lot. And to be honest as much as I wish my girlfriend to have as much friends as possible, I CAN`T stand them hanging at our place 4-5 days/week. They ask me out too and could be my friends which I respect and I have nothing against any of them as persons, but I just want my home to be a place where I can relax, and we have bedroom(I only sleep there),bathroom+quite big living room so as you may imagine everyone is 100% of the time in the same room when there`s people in our place, I don`t have a place to escape when I`m feeling tired and just want to sit at computer or something.
Lately we`ve had too many fights over this issue. My girlfriend is fed up with me and calls me an unsocial person who doesn`t care about other people, because mostly I`m against her inviting the posse in our place, and especially when she tells them it`s ok to crash at our place for a night.
During the past month, I`ve been kind of trying to just be at my own space at my computer when there are her friends at our place, but I just can`t relax and feel like exploding. I`m under a terrible stress and depression because of my work and it just kills me when after a working day my castle has been occupied by people.
I`ve been trying to ask my gf to hang with them elsewhere, but I have a bad feeling of it turning against me as it already has. And as I said, they often have no other place to hang at, according to my gf.
Yesterday my gf declared a "thinking time", but kind of drew it back after 7-8 hours.
I have never ever earlier been bothered with her having friends over, infact I have happily hanged with them too. But the current situation went over my limits right after she met the new posse she hangs out with. Of course it`s not just my home, it`s my girlfriends home too and she has a right to invite people over, but this is where the difference gets overwhelming for our relationship.
The more I seem "unsocial" in my girlfriends eyes, the more she gets fed up with me and I don`t want that.
What would you do in my position?