I've lost my mind over the sweetest stranger....
Hi.
I am losing my mind over a guy who I have known for about 2 months but only seen 3 times! I am not sure what's got over me.
He was very loving with his texts and his attitude and also when we saw each other (we have had sex), giving the impression that we were both falling for each other the same. But then, suddenly, he has backed right off and has told me that I am too full on and he is not looking for a serious relationship, that he wants to keep things simple but does not know if it is possible.
He has also given me a lot of mixed messages, like he feels something very strong for me (at first, after I said it of me towards him) and when he was baking off he said I am not his type of personality.
We also didn't have a straight forward start. We met in a dating site and there was something about him (as I saw him in his picture) that make me feel I had to meet him (he did not look extremely handsome or anything like that). We started talking almost straight away (I approached him) and he gave me his number that same day. We started talking in whatsapp and we agreed to meet on Sat the week after we met in the site. Then, 3 days before Sat, he stopped sending me messages and replying to mine or did not pick up the phone. I sent him a message in facebook asking him if he was alright, but did not get an answer.
I deleted all his details, blocked him on whatsapp and facebook and forgot about him. A week later, he sent me a whatsapp message saying that he was sorry, that he suffered from depression that came and went and blablabla. I replied and said I was sorry for him and that we all had some sort of emotional difficulties. I offer to meet again and he said that I was a nice person and that yes, he would like to meet. Then we kept writing nice messages to each other and met in a park. We liked each other straight away and he disclosed that he was also embarrassed because he was a bit broke and could have not invited me to anything. I said to him that I did also offer to meet in a park and I really did not mind how much money he had, I mind about the person. We had a first kiss in the park and we both really liked it and agreed to meet again in three days time. We met at mines and we made love and it was incredibly intoxicating (as in high like a kite). He was very loving after that, his attitude, his texts, everything... but theeeeen, guess what? He disappeared again three days before we were due to meet again in a weeks time!
Apparently, his reasoning was that I was too full on:
- I was complimenting him about how he would make a good father (he has a 12 year old daughter and I have 3 children under the age of 7; he did say he wanted a boy after he had his daughter, but due to his ex wife having mental health issues, he decided not to, but stayed with her for 10 years - she became pregnant with the daughter after 6 months in the relationship), but he would also compliment me as being a good mother... He said in this sense that he was scared of rushing things as he did with his ex and all went wrong with her;
- He miss-understood me before we were due to meet the third time and thought I wanted to introduce him to my family, but in fact he made me think he was ok with meeting them cause I already told him that my family was staying with me and he suggested to come to mine!... Anyway.
- Also, I suggested to go to the cinema and to invite him for this 3rd meeting, and he said ok, but then told me (when I managed to resume contact) that he was still embarrassed for not having money.
- There are more stuff, but I can't remember. It was all like the examples above.
I again deleted his phone number and blocked him, but I was struggling cause I was already falling for him so I wrote to him another facebook message saying to him that I really missed him and I really did not mind he did not have money and blablabla. He texted me and said that he had wanted to contact me but again felt embarrassed for the money thing, concerned that I wanted to have his child (what!) and wanted him to meet my family (what!), etc etc. He said he would love to see me again and again, but keeping things simple. I said I could do that and then arranged to meet at his. In between, he was again very loving with his texts and sexually naughty (making requests of pictures and so on). We successfully met a couple of days after resuming contact and made mad love (I think I have never clicked like that with someone in bed and outside bed, when we talk). Then his daughter started to call him constantly after a couple of hours together, demanding that he picked her up even though she was with her mother and they could walk or even take the bus to where the daughter was due to go... Finally, he decided he would pick her up and I said ok. But then, the person who was supposed to be available to pick her up appeared and as I had suggested to go to eat out (I was inviting, obviously), we decided to go. We had a great night (although there was a weird incident with the waitress... it couldn't be any other way!). And now that I am writing it, it is hilarious!!! Hahahaha. Well, I tell you: when she had served the meals on the table, he asked for pepper. She brought one of those huge pepper grounders with a bolt at the top. She put it across her bust and started to ground the pepper. Nothing much was coming out, so he asked her to loosen-up-the-top (meaning the bolt!) and she became all flustered and nervious, and put one hand on the top button of her blouse, repeating nerviously what he had said... hahahaha. He started to sweat from his chicks! Hahahaha. I tell you, nothing is straight forward with this guy. BUT HE DRIVES ME CRAZY!!!
When we said our good nights, we agreed to meet the next day. Well, guess what???? He disappeared again! Did not answer my texts or phone calls. Finally, cause I called him constantly for a good 5 minutes, he sent me a whatsapp message saying that he had a bad day with his daughter and could not stand the drama of relationships and that is why he had left his ex-es... blablabla.
Anyway, we exchanged a few messages in whatsapp for the following week or so and he was just telling me that he did not want a serious relationship from the beginning, that we were like a married couple (????!!!!) and I was not his type of personality but I was a good person and I would find someone normal (and much more like that).
Then, 3 days later I texted him and said I could not stand normal and I liked weird guys like him. He replied and said "me too" (I supposed he meant he could not stand normal either) but could not deal with the drama that seems to come with relationships and it would be really nice if we could keep things simple, but he was not sure that was possible. I asked him what that meant to him so that we could get to an agreement... but no answer. I have written to him up to today (this is 4 days after he answered) with no answers at all. I have also spoken about how I’m going mad for him to every person I come across who is close to me (including my poor ex and father of my children who wants us to be together, but can see that I am acting weird and seem a bit distraught - obviously, he needs to care as I have the kids full time and he picks and chooses when he has them, mainly in my house, so imagine how much personal space I have also working 30 hours a week in a rather emotionally stressful job...). Well, when I write it this way, it makes more sense that I am losing it a bit, don't you think so? Hahahahaha).
I also have to say that I had a little crisis like this last year at the beginning of spring as well, but the guy lived abroad (in my home land) and he was a bit more clear (just a bit) and far anyway. But since I separated 4 and a half years ago, I have not had that many impulses (although the need I had) to meet other men except these two occasions, so everything feels very intense. I feel kindda like a teenager.
Lastly about him, he has recently dissapeared in facebook (which he only joined in Jan this year and said he was not too keen on it anyway) and his phone has the following automated message when I phone from any number: sorry, calls are not currently being connected to this number. Although I can see that he goes into his whatsapp (cause of the "last seen" status) and my messages are being delivered (which both clues mean he has not blocked me in whatsapp). He also seems to enter whatsapp when I have sent him a message mainly, otherwise he does not seem to touch it.
Please, help! What is happening to me and why he now has completely close all avenues of communication? What are your thoughts? How can I help myself? Do you think I still have chances with this guy? Or shall I find a way of channelling my desires, my unconditional love and my emotions in a different way? But how? Nothing seems to work...
Thanks!
