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I have been dating my girlfriend for a year and a half now and things have always been pretty good. Recently we both graduated college and she went back home (about an hour away) until she can find a job. Well we have been doing fine with this semi long distance thing but something is REALLY bothering me. She "surprised me" this week by coming down and staying a whole week. The first day she stayed was awesome but the rest was uneventful and awkward. She became VERY distant and honestly did not kiss, hug, or show any affection the next five days at all. She didn't even tell me she loved me the entire time. I'm not the type of guy to get all ancy just because a girl isnt initiating the affection so I tried to get close but it seems like she pushes me away. Im not speaking about sexual stuff either just simple and normal affection. We went out to dinner with here friend and when walking to the place I put my arms around her and she threw it off and told me she doesn't like public affection which is weird because that is something i always do. So basically like most guys I just tried to hold it in and let it pass. Well I find out that she is actually leaving a day earlier than she said she would and the last day with me she just read a book the entire day and not even agnologing my presence other than to watch a movie. I'm not a needy guy by any means but I can tell something is wrong and its driving me nuts so I had to ask her. I told her I felt like something was wrong and listed off everything I just said in this post and she basically got really defensive saying that she did not want to be that couple that was all over each other and that MY INSECURITY was turning her off. Now that pissed me off a bit because I am not insecure at all and I have never been. Its not about security, its what I want. I asked her if she wanted to stay in the relationship (bad move, I know) and she said "I don't know, I mean I think I do. You just frustrate me sometimes by being so needy". NOW keep in mind that I have NEVER EVER been needy. I LOVE my space and I give her lots of space. Its weird because all my friends say we are the MOST UNaffectionate couple EVER. However, I don't see the point of being in a relationship without any love or affection. I knew from the start that she was not the most clingy and needy girl which is EXACTLY what i liked about her but things have really changed from not clingy to plain ignoring or even scorn. She talked in sarcasm about 95% of the time but I notice that she is super sweet with everyone else such as friends and family. Why would she even surprise visit me just to be like this? Why even come at all? Last night I couldnt sleep and went in the living room to watch some TV and considered just sleeping in there because being in the same bed with her was just upsetting me. I then realized that this may be the last time I ever get to sleep with her the way things are going and that I wanted to cuddle up with her one last time so I did and told her I loved her and I dont think I have ever meant it more then when I did then. My heart was lifted when she said it back but i fear this really is the end. I dont know how much I can take of this or if I even should. I wasnt sure about dating when we first started and I wasnt even ready but she assured me that her feelings where real and that I was everything she ever wanted. She made me feel amazing so I figured I would give it a try and things went great but I wonder if we hit the end of our road. It hurts me to say this but I am considering ending it because something is obviously wrong and instead of talking about it she gets defensive and throws jabs at me. What should I do? Any advise is great.
It turned out that she wanted to be alone and it wasn't that I was being needy, she just needs space to be herself which to me translates into "Im in to another guy but saying this not to break your heart". She says theres not another guy and it may be true but I find it hard to believe that something like this comes out of nowhere. have been here before in the same situation and I had to find out the hard way that there was another guy. Its had to have been festering for a while. I know that I was contemplating breaking up because I didn't feel like she cared any more but when she did it first somehow everything just sank and I just feel really crappy. I didn't really want to break up, I just wanted the problem to be resolved. Now I have forgotten all the bad things and cant seem to get her off my mind and this whole situation just upsets me. I don't want to date around, I want her and the way things use to be. I know that's not possible but it just sucks. She was always talking about how she wanted to marry me and I was the one she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. How can that change so sudden? I really didn't know what to say to her. I do want her back and I do still love her but I don't want to make an ass of myself. She says she needs time to be herself which basically means she is done with me. We were friends for 2 years before we dated. We both dated other people at that time but we would always flirt and hang out, I knew she had a huge crush on me. I fear we will never be friends again. This sucks. I look at other girls and I just feel sick. I cannot imagine trying to date again right now. I know that will pass but I cant think of anything to make me feel better.