This sucks. Breakup and feeling friendless.
Almost 5 years together. We decided to take a break. Usually when someone hears that it means eventually breaking up. That's what it feels like now.
One of the main issues that pushed me to kick her out is her not having a job. I repeatedly asked her to get a job to contribute which she agreed to. I wanted a contributing, participating partner. It always seemed I had to "nag" her to do things. I hated who I became. I didn't want to feel like a mother. She knew I was about a partnership from the beginning. To be without a regular job almost the entire 5 years is a bit much even with her being in school during that time. It wasn't fair for her to just expect me to take care of 90% of the bills. I brought up what she would do if I hadn't been around? She would of been forced to work, no doubt. She said she was trying but she's been "trying" for over a year. Now I have credit card debt piled up unbelievably high.
We both still love each other and want to make things work. But she's doing the same things and she seems surprised that I am still somewhat angry. After a conversation last night she said maybe we should take a real break from each other. I feel maybe I should just let her go at this point. I can't force someone to work and contribute, they should want to on their own.
To make things worse my two best friends moved away recently. So now I am without my gf and the two people that would help me take my mind off of it. Now I'm having trouble just getting my homework and reading started. I am 30 years old and in school. I don't think I have ever felt this alone before. Not really having anyone to talk to since they seem so busy and I don't want to burden them with what Im feeling now. I know I went about things the wrong way many times but I just didn't know what to do or say anymore.
I wish there was at least snow near by to go do some snowboarding. It's been a really bad snow season, hardly any snow around here.
