Day 4 of No Contact - How to Cope?

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27-10-11, 07:40 AM
LSgirl

Day 4 of No Contact - How to Cope?

So, I thought after reading people's posts in this and other variety of sites/forums that I would feel better, but I just can't seem to find anything to do to NOT think about him. I work full-time but today as I had off, I have absolutely no plans. I don't have any money to spend, certain friends I haven't told about my breakup yet because they're too busy and just don't feel like seeing them, the only things I like to do is read, watch movies, eat, and sleep! I know, pathetic, I'm quite the introvert. I managed to leave my house today to visit my cat at my moms house and to the bank, that's it! I've looked online for things to do, certain people know about my breakup but I'm sure they're sick of hearing about my pity party lol

Earlier on Facebook (we're still 'in a relationship' on fb, he doesn't go on it too much and im not showing Ive been on it by ignoring my wall posts) I saw he was attending this Halloween music thing (which he bought me a ticket) to go. It was one of those press "attend" and it automatically shows up in your newsfeed, it really hurt. I definitely don't plan on going to it. We were even supposed to go snorkeling next week and attend his friend's Battle of the Bands event.

I feel like he's moved on with his life (as he broke up with me saying he doesn't want to hurt me anymore) and he has roommates and lots of friends. I live alone, only talk to some of my co-workers at work, but I don't really have anything in common with any of them (sometimes even my own friends bc they party a lot) I don't want to drink either as that always ends up in emotional misery. I even went on WikiHow.com to read articles on how to be single and get over breakups, but this feeling of loneliness and missing him and wondering if he's thinking about me or if he'll call is just misery for me. What do you guys do? I don't play sports and im not active, don't want to run into my ex either at bars/downtown/music scene.

I also feel like I have thise false hope in my head that I need to get rid of. I think to myself, how can he not miss me? I'm sure in some ways he does, but he's the one that said "it's over, i have to move on. you deserve someone who can give you what you want" ugh....
27-10-11, 07:46 AM
Cerby

First off, NC means deleting him from FB and removing you relationship status. You need to avoid any reason you might have any kind of contact. Creeping someones page is just torture to yourself.

Getting over it is just day by day after that.
27-10-11, 07:52 AM
LSgirl

I understand, but I think since he broke up with me, he should end it with me on FB. I'm making it seem like I haven't even logged in (friends are posting on my page but I just message them instead of commenting) I SHOULDN'T look at his page, but that's my lack of will power that I need to work on. The sad part is, truly pathetic, is that because we're still in a relationship on FB there's some false glimmer of hope. It's all made up in my head, I know. It just sucks he's planning his life away, and I have nothing to plan, no hobbies. What I was passionate about most was being with him because he was such a great person (he's not a bad guy). Cerby, do you have a story as well? Were you the dumper or dumpee?
27-10-11, 11:12 AM
bpem

As a dumpee I can relate to your feelings. You're lonely and you miss him/her. In fact, I'm still not quite over my situation as well.
However, keeping him on facebook and looking at his activity will never make you feel better.
If you two ended on bad terms, then just delete him on facebook and get on with your life. Go to the gym and work on self-improvment.
Dwelling on the situation and feeling sorry for yourself is a horrible way to spend your time and will only hurt you more.
I know it's hard, and I hope you'll feel better soon. It's only been 4 days so of course it's still fresh, but the best thing to do is cut all contact. Good luck!
27-10-11, 05:59 PM
Miss_winter

Hi LSgirl,

Today is my 6 day of no contact. It's hard. I miss her more now than the first few days (probably because I was still super angry at that time because she dumped me). I haven't delete her off my FB or BBM/YM/Skype/Multiply/Twitter/G+ etc. But I've stopped log in to all the above since we broke up a month ago. As for Blackberry Messenger, I turned off the status updates so I will never see any of her status whatsoever. Luckily enough, I also don't have the urge to check on page or wanting to know what's on her mind. Because two years ago when we broke up (for the first time, but then we got back together again), she wrote something really inappropriate and hurtful about me (and it got lots of comment). So since that day, when we had a fight or anything, I would normally avoid seeing her status updates or posts. She's super active on FB and would post nasty statuses or stuff like she's having fun, only to make me hurt. The reason I can't delete her yet, because we have a car together where she paid for the down-payment and I paid the monthly installments, tax, and maintenance. Now, she want her down-payment money, but I also don't want to sell the car because I love that car and I also put money there. So we're kinda stuck. But she said she will give me time until 2015 to figure it out. But knowing that she keeps on changing her mind, I hope I can find solution by next year. Only then, I will delete her. Because if I do it now, it will seem like I'm going to runaway with the car. D'oh.

But my advice is, delete him off your FB. It will only hurt yourself seeing his page.
28-10-11, 03:22 AM
LSgirl

I know I should delete him, but I feel like he should do it since he's the one who broke up with me. The thing is, he's not a bad person and I'm surprise he hasn't actually deleted me either, but I just can't find the heart to do it as I still want him apart of my life. It's Day 5 today and everyday just reminds me how he's not coming back as time goes on :(
28-10-11, 07:06 AM
Cerby

Quote:

Originally Posted by LSgirl [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I understand, but I think since he broke up with me, he should end it with me on FB. I'm making it seem like I haven't even logged in (friends are posting on my page but I just message them instead of commenting) I SHOULDN'T look at his page, but that's my lack of will power that I need to work on. The sad part is, truly pathetic, is that because we're still in a relationship on FB there's some false glimmer of hope. It's all made up in my head, I know. It just sucks he's planning his life away, and I have nothing to plan, no hobbies. What I was passionate about most was being with him because he was such a great person (he's not a bad guy). Cerby, do you have a story as well? Were you the dumper or dumpee?

I was the dumpee, happened back in May. Went NC for 6 weeks after a few weeks of pathetic attempts to get her back, deleted off facebook, out of phone, all possessions were returned, everything. It was hard, but I did what I needed to do and it took me over a month to get over it. She called me after a month and a half to "talk" and I didn't want anything to do with it. I met someone new and better soon after than and haven't looked back.