Listen tehrealjag. I don't share this story too often, but it highlights the decision you have made. When I was 18 I was dating an older woman. We were talking about getting married and the whole nine yards. Well she found out that she has multiple sclorosis and her health declined raplidly over the next few weeks. I was suffering from depression at the time, but I had to make a decision. Stay with her, marry her, watch her die and be eaten alive by grief until I killed myself. OR Break the relationship off by telling her exactly what was going on in my head, my reasons for my decision, and then following through. I wrote her a letter, then called and explained. That was the most I had ever cried in my life, but it had to be done. I knew that because I was already depressed, and she was rapidly deteriorating that she would die, and I would then kill myself. Some things have to be done. Stick with it, and don't talk to her any more or else your emotions will get the better of you. Talk to a friend, or a relative to get it all out, but NOT TO HER.