Should date again but don't feel like it

So my last relationship ended in Jan09 and since then I've just tried to keep myself busy, move on etc. During this time I've not felt like dating again at all, still think about the ex but I know I gotta start looking forward.

It's now almost 9 months later and I'm thinking I should start actually dipping my toe back into the dating game...but the thought of it makes me feel urghhhh. In the last 9 months I've had night-flings with a few girls but my heart was never really in it with any of them.

I'm worried that the longer this goes on, the more detatched/miserable I'm going to be - a vicious cycle of sorts. I know I should get back on the horse, get my ass out of the flat and start making moves but it's really hard this time. I guess my thoughts are still with my ex, so I think what's the point of going on a date if my hearts not really in it? Part of this thinking stems from the fact that my ex was in the same situation when we first met and our relationship ended partly due to the fact that she still remained all miserable and angsty while we were together. I don't want to make the same mistake as her.

I want to bring back the old, happy me but this time it's taking too long to heal...i feel really old today...heck I am old....

Hello!

The reason why you could not really get back to dating game is your mentality. You have raise some barriers in your mind that says, "What for do this and that where there's might not be a lasting result".

If you want to get back on track, you got to break that thoughts and really look forward to meeting new people in your life. After 9months and you are still thinking much about her? Hmms... seems like you haven't really 'forget' her. I mean after 9 whole months, you should have only some occasional thoughts of your ex when it arise.

Keep a positive mind and interest in meeting new friends, might not be dates. Make lots of quality good friends. And all you know you might click with someone special after months. Love sometimes comes when you are not seeking for it. So how? Seek Friendship lor...

I think you should just have fun. If you dont feel like dating then dont! It will come to you when you least expect it.

I think the problem here is labeling....you wanna date somewhere inside of you but definition "dating" doesn't really define what you are really looking for....stop labeling things you don't have to date but at the same time it doesn't mean that you have to be single!