Should I trust my husband & do you agree with how he treats me?

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19-10-10, 05:43 AM
SoCalGirl86

Should I trust my husband & do you agree with how he treats me?

Long story short, I cheated on him back in 09, we split up for 4 months(didn't see anyone while we were split up that I know of, I know I didn't) then got back together, things were going good, then in April of this year we split up again. This time he moved out and was seeing this girl that he said he had only been talking to the last time we split up, said he would never talk to her again. He dropped the bomb on me when he said the 2 of them have been talking ever since the last time we split in 09 and that when we were split up this year the 2 of them were dating and hooking up. While he was hooking up with her, he lied to me and said they never were so that he could still have sex with me. He again said he stopped talking her, but the last time he said that he didn't, but I could never prove if he did or didn't since he didn't use his cell phone, so I think he got another one. Well, again we are having problems and I asked him if he is talking to her again and he had this stupid smile that he uses when he is lying, but he says he isn't.

I don't know what to do, I am in between a rock and a hard place since I have been a stay at home mom for the last 4 1/2 years, I have only had 2 jobs and that totals a year I have worked in my life. He says he loves me and wants to be with me, but he says I have to show him I want him, by that he wants me to wait on him 24/7 and drop what I am doing when he asks, I have 2 kids, 2 years old and almost 4 years old that need me to wait on them, but he will kinda get upset when I say I need to do for them before him and if I say I need to do something for me, he looks at me like I am crazy. I can't ask for help because he just tells me since your a stay at home mom/wife that is your job to wait on me and the kids when ever, once in a while I get help with the boys, this is taking a toll on me, I feel worthless and always feel guilty if I don't do what is told to me, I am now on depression and anxiety meds to try to help me, because I feel like I am just being walk on, but with out him I am nothing and I am afraid for my kids, since me working isn't going to happen and my Dr. can attest to that.

Should I trust my husband that he isn't talking to the other girl again? Do any of you guys treat your wife/girlfriend like this and if you have kids, do you think it is solely the moms responsibility to care for the child?
19-10-10, 06:32 AM
Mids

Sounds like he doesn't deserve you, I'd never treat my women/girl like that.

I'm 19, Sorry for the limited reply.
19-10-10, 06:42 AM
YouAreBeautiful

No, the way he is treating you is unacceptable. He is taking advantage of you and preying on the fact that you have limited job experience and are a stay-at-home man. Your job is not to wait on him and drop what you are doing when he asks. Being a mom is a full time job, doing house chores, clean up, and laundry is a full-time job. Anything else is above and beyond the call of duty. There is no question that he is wrong, untrustworthy, and unworthy of you. Cheating is not uncommon these days, but lying and sleeping with both of you in the same time within a marriage shows respect for neither of you, and is dangerous physically to you. The question is not whether or not you should move on, but rather what will you do?
19-10-10, 06:45 AM
sparkle_jello

Can he trust you? You cheated on him.
19-10-10, 06:54 AM
SoCalGirl86

Quote:

Originally Posted by YouAreBeautiful [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

No, the way he is treating you is unacceptable. He is taking advantage of you and preying on the fact that you have limited job experience and are a stay-at-home man. Your job is not to wait on him and drop what you are doing when he asks. Being a mom is a full time job, doing house chores, clean up, and laundry is a full-time job. Anything else is above and beyond the call of duty. There is no question that he is wrong, untrustworthy, and unworthy of you. Cheating is not uncommon these days, but lying and sleeping with both of you in the same time within a marriage shows respect for neither of you, and is dangerous physically to you. The question is not whether or not you should move on, but rather what will you do?

I want to move on, but I guess you can say I am afraid too and I don't know if I can handle my boys asking where is daddy all the time.
19-10-10, 06:55 AM
SoCalGirl86

Quote:

Originally Posted by sparkle_jello [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Can he trust you? You cheated on him.

I hope he can, but I haven't given him a reason to trust me nor has he given me a reason to trust him.
19-10-10, 09:30 AM
Agape

You
"I cheated on him back in 09, we split up for 4 months"

Him
"we split up again. This time he moved out and was seeing this girl" + "he said the 2 of them have been talking ever since the last time we split "
"when we were split up this year the 2 of them were dating and hooking up. While he was hooking up with her, he lied to me and said they never were so that he could still have sex with me."
"He says he loves me and wants to be with me, but he says I have to show him I want him, by that he wants me to wait on him 24/7 and drop what I am doing when he asks, I have 2 kids"

--> You two should leave each other . . . there is no relationship, coming from BOTH sides there is no trust and no respect . . . if anything it's a manipulative relationship
22-10-10, 02:04 PM
asen

Quote:

I want to move on, but I guess you can say I am afraid too and I don't know if I can handle my boys asking where is daddy all the time.

You must move on...but this time actually you need to try out something wherein you can first show your inside...and then once you're comfortable you may go ahead... an email-pal might solve ur prob...Can we be email pals first? I need someone to share every bit of my feelings irrespective of her past...I wanna rely emotionally...Can we be friends? - arindamsenweb [at] gmail.com
31-10-10, 04:36 PM
snabo

move on..it will be better for your whole family..he doesn't deserve you
01-11-10, 03:34 AM
xxazurexx

Quote:

Originally Posted by SoCalGirl86 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I hope he can, but I haven't given him a reason to trust me nor has he given me a reason to trust him.

God, it's a relationship I wouldn't want to be stuck in.....
01-11-10, 05:47 AM
angel2002

This is what you get for cheating, this is a typical case of take it or leave it. If i were you and choose to stay, be used to that kind of treatment, because even tough u were wrong cheating, he will keep with his attitude forever.
01-11-10, 06:49 AM
all alone

Hes being a bitter asshole and your spineless and your actions started the whole thing. You're both at fault, leave it as is and move on. Can you honestly live with yourself sticking in this situation because you feel financially reliable on someone?.. thats what alimony is for.
04-11-10, 03:09 PM
cedricleo

you cheated him so you have the results that you asked for.
i read most of the threads here. many people say that he's an asshole. maybe it's true, maybe not.
look into yourself. why don't you get a job? let the kids with the babysitter, or your parents and go to work. why would you ask for the flowers from the table in the dining-room? why not buy them yourself?

well... i don't agree cheating whatever the reason might be but let's put it in a light i do no approve: if you are the only one that you work in a family don't you want to have more rights than the other partner, other that dish washing, baby carring, cleaning etc.?

so... in the end... get a life. peoples that have lifes are attractive. you are a golem, you are lifeless. probably the other lady has a life. so you need to get a life too....
04-11-10, 07:46 PM
YouAreBeautiful

Any news on how it has worked out for you?