Hi, I am new to this forum so please bear with me if it is not in the right section.
3 months ago my girlfriend and I mutually agreed to end a 5 year relationship.
It was an amicable separation and we still remain friends, the spark had just faded.
Anyway, we had a talk the other day going through our relationship and among many issues was our sex life. This however saddens me a lot due to the fact that I am in a wheelchair and therefore am unable to do a lot of positions in bed. I am however fairly good at oral and when she is on top things are also fine. The thing that really hurt me though was that I agreed with her, I mean, normally people would react with anger or say F**** Off and find someone else, but I could only agree with her. Anyway, I really do not want to come across as a victim or anything and there were many other issues that did not have anything to do with my disability complicating our relationship. I grew distant to her and focused more on my career as a musician so in the end I was by no means the best boyfriend.
As I mentioned above I am a musician and therefore my whole life is based around creativity, besides the creativity involved in composing music and writing songs I also have to be creative in my way of doing things. I am the drummer in my band and therefore I have learned to go other ways and invent and build drum sets that work for me. The other day I had an epiphany and I realized how far I had managed to succeed in my musical life by simply just being open about it. Sharing ideas with band mates and tech guys on how to make a set up that works for me, and I realized that by being open and seeking advice I had progressed and made a style and sound that was totally my own. To take things back to the relationship side of things I also thought, if I tried to find new ways and methods of being intimate with a partner it might also take that side of me to a new level. I mean, I have accepted my disability in the way that I know I can not make love to a woman in the ordinary missionary positions and I am not moaning about that but instead I need to create other ways and my own personalized methods of "being a man". Therefore I need to ask all you wonderful ladies on your opinion. Would you be alright with using various toys and trying different ways of doing things. I am sorry that I can not be more specific about the actual things yet as I simply have not invented them :) but anyway, would it be too weird to use toys, vibes and weird customized stuff in the bed room or is it OK? Anyway, I hope this stream of thoughts made somewhat sense.
