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Hello , I'm a 21 year old male and I live in the US.
As the title says I have a girl bestfriend , but there's a slight problem :D
(She's 20 by the way)
Today she's " officially " in a relationship with the guy she loves. What should I do ? Would it be awkward to continue talking to her ? ( We talk alot) , Should I just act normal and why ?
I still want us to be bestfriends but still I don't want to be the "Third Wheel " or a " Plan B " :)
Waiting for your advice thanks !
If you like the girl why didn't you date her?
It might be weird but I'm pretty satisfied in the "friendzone" as I'm not in love with her . She's just a really good friend I don't want to lose , thats all :)Quote:
Originally Posted by surfhb [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I can offer a little advice, but I also just wanted to follow this thread because I'd be interested in what others say. Also, I want to ask you...
HOW DID YOU DO IT?! I would love to have a girl best friend. In fact, there was a girl who I was hoping could be just that. She turned out to be a piece of crap, but before I realized that, I wasn't really sure how to proceed with such a thing. I didn't want her to just get the impression that I was hitting on her and possibly scare her away because of that. But, I'd still love to have a girl bestie, so it would certainly help me for future reference knowing how to go about it.
Anyway, a lot of folks seem to think it is never okay for a man and woman to be just friends. I personally think that is poppycock. Balderdash, even. However, it is a situation where there is a bit of a balancing act, ESPECIALLY when one or both are in a relationship.
So, I guess the most important thing you two can do is to learn appropriate boundaries now that she is with a guy. You shouldn't hang out one on one alone too much. At least not until he knows you well enough to trust you and be comfortable with the situation.
You shouldn't do date-like activities alone with her. You two also shouldn't be all touchy-feely with each other, such as cuddling or holding hands. So, if those were sort of things you did do before, you shouldn't now.
Beyond that, again, it is just about having the appropriate boundaries. It may mean you have to see each other a little less, but in the end it will balance itself out. Good luck!
Clarity. Plain and simple. You two have been chums for a time, she now has a man in her life so good for her, hope he's a good man because it sucks when our friends date pricks.
If you are use to talking often, continue it. If you drop off the planet suddenly, 'he' may wonder why as will she. Meaning, if your just a buddy for her, why would you stop talking just because she's got a bf now right.
True, always nice to give the new couple space for their romance but I see nothing wrong, so long as the intentions are clear with a continued friendship. Might want to include her man when you hang out so he can know your not a threat.
We must respect our friends and their sweethearts.. good friends are hard to find so when we do, we keep them. Your going to want to know if he's a good fella anyway right? Right. Approach as a cosmic brother would. Nothing wrong with having opposite gender best friends; just need to make sure their bf/gf gets there's no threat or need to worry. Let them get to know you and all will be fine
Thanks , that was a good advice :)Quote:
Originally Posted by woody [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
- - - Updated - - -
I don't really know how I did it , it just happened hahahaha all I can say just show that you have good intentions.Quote:
Originally Posted by TheEvilJester [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I agree , it need balancing