Hey Guys!
I'm a 23 year old guy. I have a question about crushes, i.e. the early phase of dating, before you know for sure whether or how much the other side likes you back.
For some reason, whenever I have a crush, I get sad. This is completely independent of how the "object of desire" feels about me. For example, I just asked this cute girl out (I'm not unexperienced but I don't do that often) and I only got positive signals from her - we're having dinner tomorrow. Yet, I'm sitting here and instead of looking forward to tomorrow, I feel this deep inner sadness. And this always happens, no matter whether the crush is one-sided or not.
Oh, and I also always behave weirdly when I have a crush like this. That is probably, why I've never had a relationship with a girl that I had a strong crush on before coming closer. I had my last girlfriend because we had a one-night stand and then got close - if I would have had a chance to slowly get to know her, have a crush and then date her, I'm quite sure that we would not have become a couple.
I'm suspecting this has something to do with my hormones (i.e. a drop of endorphines/dopamine), but is it normal that this makes me so sad? Or is it, because I've been hurt in the past when my crushes were either one-sided or somehow unsuccessful and in anticipation of that, I'm already sad?
What does this reaction tell about me? Do you guys (and Gals) have that too?
I find this a very curious symptom, since having a crush should be fun (shouldn't it?).
Best,
Anonymous.
