How Should I feel about this?

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23-08-09, 01:16 PM
powerade

How Should I feel about this?

So I was talking with my gf and she has made out with 25 guys but has had sex with 3,me being the 3rd guy

She has done all this list.

guys from work.
guys her friends liked.
guys she just thought were hot
guys she used just for making out when she was bored.
guys she just wanted attention from.
went after guys who her friends liked just cause she didnt like the match up
A manager from her store.
guys she worked with cause they were hot.
One of her brothers friends cause she and he was "drunk"
Even randomly went back to a guys house from work and randomly had sex.so kinda a one night stand I guess.
dating guys just cause she was bored.
Gave head to a guy who treated her like shit but had things going for himself but he "forced" her to give him head.when in truth he didnt she just did cause she "didnt" know what to do.She did so hoping he would ask her out.

I think there is more but cant remember.

She was one of those girls who didnt get "hot" til senior year in highschool so she felt like making up for lost time was she told me but it sounded like an excuse with how she said it.It has been 3 years since highschool

What is your opinion on this?

I am her current bf but finding out some of this stuff kinda bugs me even tho I care bout her.
23-08-09, 01:32 PM
Yggdrasil

Why would it bug you? All this happend before your time. Is she still seeing, dating, having sex with, other guys or is she stricktly commited to you?

What happend before you became involved with her, and what will happen after you guys break up (in the hypothetical case that happens) is none of your business. Nor should it put strain on the relation.

Grow up dude, everybody has a past, even you.

Don't tell me, this is your first g/f ever or this is the first girl you have sex with.
23-08-09, 02:34 PM
powerade

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yggdrasil [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Why would it bug you? All this happend before your time. Is she still seeing, dating, having sex with, other guys or is she stricktly commited to you?

What happend before you became involved with her, and what will happen after you guys break up (in the hypothetical case that happens) is none of your business. Nor should it put strain on the relation.

Grow up dude, everybody has a past, even you.

Don't tell me, this is your first g/f ever or this is the first girl you have sex with.

No she isnt.
but I have never gone after the chicks my friends liked or done other things like that.
23-08-09, 03:27 PM
Yggdrasil

Quote:

Originally Posted by powerade [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

No she isnt.
but I have never gone after the chicks my friends liked or done other things like that.

Well, for starters: you and her are two different people. It's very unrealistic to expect your partner to adhere to the exact same set of values you have.

What counts here is that she is not doing this during her relation with you. She only has to be faithfull and commited to her current partner. What happend before you two became involved, is totaly unrelated to your current situation with her.

The problem is mostly in your mind, and the more you keep on thinking in this particular way, the more stress you place on yourself and your relation with her.

I think you can already see where this eventualy will end up: lot's of resentment for something that shouldn't be there in the first place, resulting in relationship breakdown.

In other words: your way of thinking is poisoning the relation (subconsiously and otherwise).

Is that the way you'd like the relation to go?

I guess what I am trying to say is: you have to put things in the proper perspective before it starts affecting the relation.

I hope I am making sense with this.
23-08-09, 03:46 PM
powerade

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yggdrasil [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Well, for starters: you and her are two different people. It's very unrealistic to expect your partner to adhere to the exact same set of values you have.

What counts here is that she is not doing this during her relation with you. She only has to be faithfull and commited to her current partner. What happend before you two became involved, is totaly unrelated to your current situation with her.

The problem is mostly in your mind, and the more you keep on thinking in this particular way, the more stress you place on yourself and your relation with her.

I think you can already see where this eventualy will end up: lot's of resentment for something that shouldn't be there in the first place, resulting in relationship breakdown.

In other words: your way of thinking is poisoning the relation (subconsiously and otherwise).

Is that the way you'd like the relation to go?

I guess what I am trying to say is: you have to put things in the proper perspective before it starts affecting the relation.

I hope I am making sense with this.

yes,it is making sense and I know thats what happening but im trying to fix that but just dont know how to.
29-08-09, 02:33 AM
Tug

Sounds like a trust issue. If you have doubts about her motives you might want to reconsider how far your willing to let this relationship go. There's nothing worst than being with someone your unsure of.

Listen to your gut feeling especially when it comes to a woman, it'll never steer you wrong.
29-08-09, 03:29 AM
Gigabitch

You'd probably be fine with this if you had more experience, yourself. My question to you is this: is it her past that bothers you or how she relates to her past? Does she still use these experiences to define herself? Do you feel that sh is still inclined to do sexual things because she's "bored"?
29-08-09, 03:36 AM
girl68

How the HELL do you know this?
WHY the HELL is she telling you this?

*face in palm*
31-08-09, 08:25 PM
mylovelywife

yes, I wonder why is she letting you know all that
04-09-09, 07:37 AM
domainappraisal

Be Happy with present

Hey man. make your mind bigger. If you don't have faith on her I don't know how you'll continue this relationship. If she's not like before, If she still loves you now, just forget the past. Be happy with the present.
04-09-09, 02:47 PM
kirig

Quote:

Originally Posted by domainappraisal [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Hey man. make your mind bigger. If you don't have faith on her I don't know how you'll continue this relationship. If she's not like before, If she still loves you now, just forget the past. Be happy with the present.

I agree ;)

Dont let her past bug you ..instead think of the things that is best for your relationship in the present and future:love: