Should I....?

My ex and i have broken up for 2years... recently he msg me that he still love and miss me lots... but i know he has a girlfriend whom he has been for 1year+...

Between me and him, loads of things had happened, when we were together, we broke and patch back for 3times... due to kidish reasons... maybe bcos at that time, we are still young, only 16-17...

But 2years past since the last breakup, we are still good friends and the gal he's with is now a 17years old gal, she aren't mature or understanding, basically bcos she don't think her age and he's her first love. ( Ben & I have know each other for a total of 4years )

At that time when my ex (Ben) told me he still love me, i got shocked and the 1st idea in my mind is.... what about his girlfriend?

I don't know why i thought of her, maybe i just don't want her to get hurt.
So i asked to meet up with Ben and yesterday we met to solve all this.

Even though in both our hearts, we still love each other but we too understand since there's someone involve in it, it's best that he stick with her, i agree to that. To him, he has feelings for her but regardless how he tried, he just aren't able to forget me and to accept her totally...

That i find it sad... it's as though he's cheating on her... i find myself feeling guilty

I really do miss his warmth, his touch and everything else... but the fact is he's not mine...

Friends who knew about this, told me to wait for him as they think he'll eventually be back with me... i hope it'll happen but i'm just scared...

Should i wait for him?

It's as though the both of us is fated to know each other... but i'm scared that we aren't fated to be together...


Guys & Gals.. please give me suggestions...

Thanx... :cry:


-Yun-

two points of your story, i see that no matter what you do, you always seem to find eachother after 4 years have past, but there is always something that seperates you after you get back into a relationship. it took me a long time to get over my first ex, and i believe that is it mainly because i was living in the past. during the time that we were together, i was pure bliss and that is what i treasure. all the memories. now ask yourself, do you treasure those memories? of course you do, but are you living only from those memories? sure they are the happy times of your relationship but what about the bad? there must have been reason why you two never stayed together all those times. does the good out weigh the bad or the other way around. hopefully that will help you decide. raverboy

the reasons are simple...

1st time, he din tell me he was my ex bf's best friend, 'cos basically i never saw him with my ex bf before. My ex/ his best friend had to tell me in the face.

2nd time, we couldn't spend much time with each other, due to commitment in school, so we decided to give each other time off.

3rd time, bcos his mom keep refusing to tell me his condition when he's very sick, leaving me dead worried and heartbreak... i decided that we part bcos i didn't want him to have an arguement with his mom at that time. Basically bcos his mom doesn't know he has a girlfriend and finds it wierd that her son happens to have so many girls calling him when he's from a guys-only school.

I know i have to move on, i did when we broke up 2years ago, trying to give myself a new meaning in life. But along this 2years, i too know i wasn't able to forget him, especially i notice myself comparing others to him.

well why not try again, it seems that you two have come a long way and a fourth time,..might not hurt. keep me informed. raverboy

thanx, well... just gonna have to wait till he and that gf ends...
i dun wanna be the reason they breakup, i rather they break up without a third party involve.

thanx illusion...

Hi...

I'm a newcomer to the forum. I think I might be a lil late in response to this particular thread - sowwie!

What you went thru, is a lil similar to what I went thru. A few years back, I met the most wonderful guy. He turned my whole world around and helped me see life with a different and more positive outlook - but he came with one big string attached - he was deeply in love with his gf at that time and they were on the verge of falling apart. Sounds cliche? Yep.

To cut a very long story short (spanning 2 years), he left me hurt and lost becoz while he loved me, it was his gf that he met first and he wasn't going to let a 3 yr relationship fail without trying his best to save it. I tried my best to help them, knowing he was unhappy in the r/ship. So I decided to leave him once and for all, wished them well, and went overseas to give myself space and to start over.

I found out recently from my sister, he broke up with his gf right after I left, and tried to convince her to reveal my whereabouts. But she refused on the basis that she felt he had hurt me enough and that it was all in the past, no pt raking it all up again. He did find me thru a mutual friend of ours this year and asked for a second chance to startover. But it's too late. Altho I still loved him (I think a part of me always will), I'm already happily attached so I bid him farewell for another time.

*sigh* Life is all about missed chances and ill-timing. But it'd only complicate matters if there is another party involved - no one will be happy. Do I regret not giving it a second shot? I can't answer that. Maybe I will, maybe I won't. I won't say my current r/ship is smooth going. It's got alot of downs, more than ups.

But what I always believed is, if the person is meant to be yours, nothing will tear you both apart. Somehow, no matter how many obstacles are in your way, things end up falling into place. That's not to say you can sit back and watch things happen. If you want something, you must always fight for it. But in time, somehow both parties will find themselves face to face together again.

Unfortunately, for my case, feelings are there, strong as ever but it's too late to go back to the way things were. To me, the times we had can only be sweet memories.

Time will tell if Ben will be yours. Maybe it's months, maybe years. But you're right to not interfer until he's available. It took me 2 painful years to realize this.

So good luck and I hope you'll find happiness anyway in the end... you're not alone when it comes to feeling this way.

p.s. pardon the long post! :P

sometimes, honestly, we don't realize what we are blinded by until we are no longer blinded. we so much wish to be with another person that we don't care what we have to go through. when the journey is over however, we look back upon the time that we have wasted and realize it was all a waste of time. raverboy

thanx p3rpetual, i rather let God show the path i should take.

illusional, i agree, i guess it's just how blind we can be when in love.