he doesn't seem to enjoy sex at all - men, some insight?
I've been involved with a great gentleman. We've been having sex for 6+ months (albeit, not very frequently as our work schedules don't allow us as much time together as we'd like) It's been anti-climatic for me from the start, but, I kept the mind frame that it would improve over time and that it was just part of getting used to a new partner. I understand everyone doesn't click automatically when it comes to sex, and we've had multiple talks of what the other person enjoys. He's listened during these talks.
It doesn't seem like he enjoys sex...like...at all. And it's seriously turning me off and making sex very vanilla. He's a very sexual person, is very flirtatious with me, and acts like he's going to explode if he can't get his hands on me...until we start having sex. Then it's just boring.
I know all men aren't moaners, or the dirty talk type. He's very silent and doesn't seem "in the moment". He's constantly pausing and adjusting positions and that's been the biggest reason why I've been unable to get off. I try coaching him with moaning and saying "keep going" or "don't stop" but, it just doesn't seem to be working. When it starts feeling really, really, good for me I start getting louder, and he'll say "You better stop because that's really turning me on" and then he'll stop what he's doing. WHAT!?
Sex just keeps going and going until I become visibly tired or uninterested, to which he responds like he were stating the weather "Do you want me to cum?"
I then can never tell he came. No reaction on his part. Sometimes I think he's just pausing again until I see the condom filled up. After he orgasms, it's like we didn't even have sex. We'll lay there and cuddle but...something is so off and I finally called him out on it last night.
I straight up asked, "What's wrong? Is something bothering you? You act really weird after we have sex." This totally threw him. I don't think he was expecting it at all. He looked at me, dumbfounded, and said "Nothing's wrong. What? What do you mean?" I held firm, and told him he behaves as if we just finished doing our taxes instead of ****ing.
He didn't say much, but then later that night after he brought me home I got a text message saying "I just want to say that I love you and that look after sex is just me holding it all in"
Holding WHAT all in? He tells me he loves me. It's no secret. I am so confused. I plan on having a conversation with him about this, but I'm afraid of hurting his feeling. No man wants to hear their sex is lacking. I'm physically attracted to him, and he's not bad in bed....I just don't understand the lack of enthusiasm and the constant pausing.
This is turning me off towards him sexually.