10 Tips to Survive A Break Up.
1. Cry all you want. Let the tears flow, it's
healthy you are releasing grief and pain. You
may be afraid to start because you're fearful
you'll never stop, but you will.
2. Do something everyday to help yourself
heal. Exercise, read, watch some self-help
TV/DVD's, learn to meditate and never
underestimate the power of positive prayer.
Pick things that you know will be fun or
beneficial and do them. Don't wait for the
mood to come over you, take one action and
then take another.
3. Find emotional support. There are
numerous groups for the newly single (more
for women than for men). If you want
therapy, Just don't try to tough it out or
go it alone, support from others is healing,
even if those people never become close
friends.
4. Don't be a doormat. If your soon-to-be-ex
continues to call you or simply won't go
away (or move out) tell them you can't heal
with them around and ask them to keep their
distance. If they are harassing or threatening
you it is best to call law enforcement for
information and advice.
5. Keep busy. If you wake up early take a
walk, go out to breakfast or do something
around the house. Try a little "retail
therapy" (go shopping) or enjoy the
decadence of going to a movie in the middle
of the day. Many businesses allow their staff
to take "mental health days" if needed. If you
can't sleep do the crossword puzzle, read or
watch TV. Don't sit in your room and
ruminate, you have to free your mind so your
heart can heal.
6. Don't try to mask your pain by trying to
find a replacement. We all know the term
"rebound relationship" these happen when
we (unconsciously) use another person to fill
the gap that's been created by the ending of
a relationship. These transitional
connections can feel healing in the short
term, but if you don't process your pain
appropriately you will not be able to be in a
fully committed partnership.
7. Don't spend too much time alone. Hang
out with friends or make new ones, go to
coffee with someone you can talk to,
volunteer in your community. You will need
time alone, but if you isolate yourself you
won't be able to fully process your feelings
or get the support you need to heal.
8. Trust your feelings. Even if you were
taken by surprise by the breakup, your inner
voice is telling you something. Listen
carefully and you will hear that it will all be
OK. You just have to let your feelings guide
you.
9. Take your time. Don't rush out and buy a
new car or move to a new home or another
town. Major changes like those are merely a
way of avoiding your feelings. Believe that
with a little time, patience and support you
will feel better and find love again.
10. Research. Find out what others, who
have not just survived but thrived after their
relationships ended did to achieve peace of
mind. There are some great books on
surviving a breakupTrust that you were not put here to suffer
and that your live will not just be OK, it will be wonderful. Love will come again and next time, if you have truly processed your feelings, it will be much better.
Having to work through some alone time doesn't need to be totally painful. Remember that even though change is mandatory, suffering is optional.
