Here is the recap:
I have a friend I have chatted with online for over two years. Our relationship was "flirty" and he has said he wanted to marry me if my husband ever left, but he was probably joking. Anyhow, there is a mutual attraction. I have never met him in real life.
So back in November or so, he said he wanted to come visit me. I didn't really think he was serious so I mentioned it to my husband, who said "no way". I told my friend that my husband wouldn't let him come. So then, my friend just stopped chatting with me on IM.
I messaged him, asked him what was going on. He told me he was depressed and didn't like talking when he was depressed. He told me to call him, which I didn't. I felt like he should call me, since he was the one who seemed to not want to talk. I didn't want to invade his space.
He never called me. So here is the awkward part.
I asked him where our "relationship" was going. He said, "You are married with two kids. I can't be the cause of a marriage breaking up." Now listen-- I don't want to have an affair with him, I just don't want to lose my friend. I said, "Are we still friends?" He said "we're still pals."
So he has not chatted with me on IM since then. He did send me a message around Christmastime.
Today I finally broke down and texted him. He wants to chat tomorrow and catch up.
What I need to know is:
- Why did he want to visit me?
- Why did he stop talking to me on IM?
- Why did he say he can't break up my marriage? We are just friends.
- Is he in love with me??