Quarter Life Crisis and More??

I've been through two consecutive relationships where the guy develops a "can't get tied down now, feels suffocated, must go screw as many girls as possible" attitude. Where is this coming from? Are all guys in their 20's not ready to be in a stable relationship? I'm not asking for marriage or anything remotely close to that here.

My guy and I are both in our 20's. We've dated for over a year and half. We got along GREAT and our personalities match and we compliment each other's need when we're physically next to each other. However, things always go sour when we're apart, even for more than a day! He told me that he HATED the relationship because he feels obligated to see me and do things with me. That in turn makes him not take any initiative to go out with me, which in turn makes me hassle him more and hate him for not taking any initiatives, thus making him feel more suffocated and hateful of our relationship. He told me that he loves me, but hates our relationship.

I don't think of myself as that demanding. I prefer to see the guy twice a week, hopefully at least one of those times the guy would ask me to see him. I don't require daily phone calls, a few texts here and there is fine. I'm whiney sure, but I can get away with it as being "cute" (and guys have told me it's cute so I'm not saying this as a self justification). Is that too demanding??? Oh and not to mention, I have no problems paying for things.

I don't understand. Why do males insist on this f**king around phase in their life? Is it his problem with me?

"He told me that he loves me, but hates our relationship."

That is a terrible piece of dialogue. But it tells you to work on the relationship because the love is there. Maybe you need to do something different. I am 19 and all I want is a stable relationship. Hah! It is so hard to find what you want.

If all he wants to do is do other girls, then why wait until he actually does?

Bottom line: He sounds very selfish. In order for you to love someone you need to love the relationship. How can you hate your relationship with someone but love them?

A relationship like that seems like it should be a family one, not a lovers relationship. The way it is described it sounds unhealthy. I think you should talk to him and figure out what his deal is so that you can prepare for a serious relationship or look into something else. Nothing is more frustrating than your lover saying "I think I should have sex with more people before I commit to one person." Yep, terrible dialogue.

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Originally Posted by doppelgaenger [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Yes there are some guys in their 20s who are ready for a stable, long term relationship.

I'm almost 21. Been in a long term relationship for a year now. I see my girlfriend every day, we spend hours together. Honestly said, few things make me happier.

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Yeah, that's because you just met her.

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Why do males insist on this f**king around phase in their life?

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For the same reason women often want a committed man.

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Originally Posted by Frasbee [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Yeah, that's because you just met her.

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One year ago.

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Originally Posted by doppelgaenger [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

One year ago.

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When and where did you meet that german chick?

And what's the longest amount of time you've spent living with her?

What German chick?

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Originally Posted by doppelgaenger [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

What German chick?

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Oh, you're done with that one?

*strange look* there never was a German girl. I knew one ages ago but I stopped flirting with her a little over a year ago.

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Originally Posted by doppelgaenger [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

*strange look* there never was a German girl. I knew one ages ago but I stopped flirting with her a little over a year ago.

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So who was that forum chick that you met in Germany?

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Originally Posted by doppelgaenger [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

*strange look* there never was a German girl. I knew one ages ago but I stopped flirting with her a little over a year ago.

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Please, please, please tell me you're just being deliberately obtuse.

lol. At least I know and have experienced the joy of being someone that feels the same way about you. Too bad I was too young for it. Now I'm going to stay single and focus on myself. Develop those skills I never got a chance to do.

So another question, are guys more likely to pursue a woman that shows little or no interest?

I'm a little sad at the idea that we have to play these games for love. When can there be a time when two people just put aside their games and realize they like each other and that's enough.

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Originally Posted by doppelgaenger [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

My girlfriend is from Former Yugoslavia.
We met a year ago ;)
I am going to visit her & meet her family and friends in 12 days. Already booked the flight, already made arrangements ;)
Then we are going on vacation to Turkey.

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Alright, my point is you still haven't moved in with her.

To the OP - yes pretty much all guys go through that phase. I have, and all my mates have.

I'm 26, and from my own observations it tends to go roughly thus:

18-21: serious relationships.
22-25: **** around.
25-26: Relationship

I'm only 26, so I can't give you the full decade. Anyway, the point is it's not you. It's a legitimate biological urge.