A Tender Touch

I worked there everyday but never noticed her before. She was a young blonde girl, probably a year or two older than me, working at the pretzel shop. She wasn't exactly what you would call attractive. She was an average build with a little extra weight in places, her face a bit contorted and unsymmetrical, her relaxed expression resembled a grimace. From one look at her I could see the sadness in her eyes, the emptiness in her heart, the yearn in her soul. It was then I fell in love with her, I knew she had to be mine.

I watched her come and go to work each day, I saw her nearly shed a tear in worry each time she recieved her weeks pay, her desperation wetted my appetite even more. I was content in loving her from afar, watching her work day in and day out. Seeing the grace in her hands when she would flip the dough to make a perfect pretzel, serving customers with a smile even though inside she was rotting away, toiling for a life she wished she could run from. I fed from her melancholy, revelled in her hopelessness, she was miserable and I loved her for it. This is the way it went on for months.

One night I was taking the trash to the dumpster for the night and she walked in from just taking out hers. I froze. I stared at her so surprised and my limbs became numb. She looked at me with piqued curiosity and asked if I was ok. She talked to me, she saw me, she noticed me, she.....loved me. I ran to her and held her. I could feel her small hands attempt to resist but I couldn't allow it, not after all this time, we couldn't be seperated after all we had gone through. I held her tighter. She kicked and hit me. She was in love. I held tighter and tighter. She made sounds of choking and wheezing, she was speechless to have me in her life. After a while she quit resisting, she went limp in my arms, she was mine. I looked in her eyes and found them completely empty, unblinking, and mine at last. I cried. We were finally together, no one could drive us apart, she was mine forever.

NOT A TRUE STORY!!! This just came to mind today and thought I'd write it down, see what people thought. Though it's a disturbing story I'm trying to work on seeing things from a different perspective when I write as well as capture the best of detail. Lemme know what you all think.

Holy crap I thought this was happening and you werent sharing! Im impressed with your depth-your description too...very good Zekk-its awesome...

I was almost waiting for a "I looked in her eyes and found them completely empty, unblinking, and mine at last. I cried. We were finally together, no one could drive us apart, she was mine forever....and then in one exquisite starburst of pain, her knee swiftly parted my testicles. I decided to share my embrace with the concrete rushing to greet me from below. And I tasted the cold, granite through clenched teeth, I writhed on the ground, hopeless in her gift of love. The blood in my urine would flow as a reminder of the beating of my heart which brought us together. This moment of an unspoken destiny."


I'm sorry Zekk, the story was great, I was just TOTALLY expecting a twist on it so I threw in my own as an example. I'm sorry, just my twisted humor acting out again at the expense of someone else's sweet expressions. I sure hope I didn't kill the intention. Somebody needs to part my testicles for me, i'm such a dick. :-P

WOW - that's awesome, I have a tendency to see people and write my own a little about them myself. It used to be my favorite writing exercise.

Actually bonovox....that was farkin awesome. You had me and my friend cracking up. No need to worry about offending my intent. This was just an exercise for me, trying to master good description and point of view expression. I'll hafta write another one and give some thought to some kind of plot. I just went with the cliche creepy stalker angle since I've never written anything from that POV. I'm glad people are liking though.

what the.... Zekk, you have out did yourself... that was freakin hystarical.. lol

Wow Zekk. Good stuff! I thought at first you were serious, then it turned to laughter and then to an all out morbid fit of hysteria! What an imaginative little mind you have. *all the better to amuse you with, my dear!*. lol I can't wait for the next one.

Bono, funny stuff you added. Hey maybe you and Zekk should write something together! LoL