Yeah, my girl sorta left me
Hey there!
I'm a 21-year-old guy who's had a great time with his girl. Well, now the fact she left me prompted my to register and post here.
Anyway, i will give you only some little details about her: she's 19, have unique qualities (like her brownish-greenish eyes) and that's about it of her for now.
So now i'm in need of getting her back. And not because to prove myself i can get her back but because I love her. I really wanna spend the rest of my life with her. I wanna have kids with her. That's my biggest wish, and yes, the time spent with her was best ever. She gave me so much energy and positive thinking.
Now to the topic: She left me about a week ago by phone. I was in other country. *I* called her one day and had an anxious and nervous conversation with her and was stupid enough to ask MYSELF if she's about to leave me? And she said yes. She said it's best to go that way. That drove me crazy. The next night i drove to my country (the same country she's at) with a bottle of wine and chocolate. It was an 8 hour drive. She didn't know i was coming (though she later said she understood as my phone was switched off the operator said the message in a local language, meaning the phone is in the same country. Or does it?). When i met her she was angry of course that i wasted so much money for this pointless trip. The time was something like 3.30 A.M when i arrived also. I just hoped to convince her. But we got into a arguing fight. I wasn't confident enough, i was so so tired about the trip. And i lost control of myself so to say. I started to blame her for useless things. And i left an hour later, got some sleep, and all the way back to the other country. This visit was pointless, i didn't accomplish nothing. Then i started to call her often, begged her to forgive me. Asked for one last chance (done it before with her as well). She said she needs "some time to think". I know what that means. Then i asked her to call me any time she wants. She did call me couple of times, just to let me know what she's doing. Her last call was quite sarcastic. She said to me all the things she's been doing, like going out with her buddies (all of them male) and things like that. Maybe it was her tactic to make me forget her. Well, too bad, it didn't work. And now here i am, i haven't called her 2 days as well as she hasn't called me.
I know why she felt a break-up with me. It's because lately we started to have little fights (verbally of course) over pointless things. Absolutely meaningless little things. But we had them a lot. She even said that every time she's near me she gets nervous. It's because she's afraid of these fights. And all of that drove her crazy and sad i think. And i take the responsibility fully. I didn't try to lead aside these fights with something funny or sweet. I followed her. And why i have a hope of getting her back is because i know she at least loved me. We had a wonderful tmie together before these fights. We had a great sex life (even in the fight period), and we were very caring to each other. Though i'm a skinny guy she said i have the sexiest body and a soft skin (which i do). I know my appearance was a 100% match to her. I'm a nice looking guy, most of the girls agree in this part. Always kissing and hugging each other. But these damn fights. And fights over things that's completely meaningless (example: getting into fight over fruits' appearance?). Also, she's quite active, she likes to go out often. Pubs, clubs, etc. I wasn't so active, didn't take her much out. Part of it was because we lived in her parents home for some time out of town 10-15 miles. And i said we don't have any place to stay for night. Something silly like that. Also, she used to tell me why she's gotta be the one in the house who thinks of some plans, that i wasn't crew member at all. And i understand that, i don't argue with it. It's in my nature, i think. I'm quite a quiet type. But when i party, i party hard. We used to go to parties a lot when we lived in boarding school. We went with our friends and thit like that - it was a GREAT period in our time. After we finished the school (we both shared the same school and finished the same year) i visited her often and lived in her house for like 3 weeks now in this summer. The difficult thing is my parents live in other country, that's why after the school we got to see each other not that often. And usually being away from each other ain't a good thing.
Anyway, i want to change all that! I wanna be a great boyfriend to her again. I'm about to respect her to maximum extent. I really love and care about her. And i absolutely see these mistakes on my side she said. I was a lazy time-to-time. Lazy to improve our relationship quality. I was a complete ****face. And now that i'm left alone, it's not great. I cried a lot the first couple of days. I wanna make it up to her. And i know she still somewhat loves me but is insecure about how our relationship would go on. Maybe she'd be having the same boring life and all the fights. I totally understand her. And i'm ****ing ready to change it, you better believe it.
PS. She left me for a short time 4 months ago, too. It was because of one HUGE lie i had. This lie came along our relationship the whole time and told it too late. Then she escaped the town to her friend's home. I made a surprise visit to her the next night with flowers and candy and begged for forgiveness. She was shocked and forgave me. She didn't believe i would do something like that. And now THIS time i made a "surprise" visit from other country - it wasn't a good tactical move. it was a cliche. I know. But i was just desperate, i didn't think about this surprise factor of it.
Now i've been reading some material about how to get your ex back. They all stress to get confident, get social, change yourself to something else visually, and things like that. And the last couple of days i've been doing just that. I haven't called her, my feelings have got stronger. Next week i'm going to a trip with couple of friends. Also i just got a job, and bet this will take my mind away from her. BUT! I do want her back. And i want strategically RIGHT moves. She's the love of my life, and i want to prove it to her. I wanna be her ideal future husband. In your opinion, dear members, how should i proceed? Should i wait for a month or two, and then call her for a quick lunch just to chitchat? Should i start dating, and i mean just dating (nothing serious) other girls? How can i change myself to a extent that she'd want me back? I know she loves me, but she's scared about our relationship.
Thank you for reading through my mess and giving suggestions,
A dude
PS. That big lie i was referring before that i carried with me wasn't about cheating. I would never-ever cheat her as i know she wouldn't. I see cheating as something very very ugly and gross.
