Feeling like i've dropped the ball with a girl - how to "save it"? :-/
Hi everyone!
Been dating a girl for allmost 2 months now.
Things were going great up until yesterday - we've practically been in a relationship (but not officially), at least i've been fairly sure she wanted to be serious with me.
However, during events last night and through today, i feel like i might have f'ed things up :-/
To summarize: normally, she and i have great rapport, tons of things in common, we laugh at the same things, have great sex etc. etc. and we've both "agreed" that we were happy about being together. During the time i've dated her, i've been playing it somewhat cool with her so i wouldn't scare her off - which has worked.
But yesterday, i just totally lost my cool and felt extremely anxious/awkward/needy and "not myself" around her - i couldn't relax at all. It felt like the balance of our relationship shifted, and instead of me being in control and leading our relationship, i was a total wuss and couldn't even act normal around her big brother (he means a lot to her, and being able to do well with him is big points in her book). I spent the night with her, but all through today i felt the same thing - and when we said goodbye to each other, it definitely felt like she had lost some of her attraction towards me, in the manner she said goodbye.
She also told me to my face that i seemed like i had changed from the last time i saw her (which was only 2 days before, where all went smooth). In fact, she told me she'd been planning to ask me if i really liked her or not, but had changed her mind (??).
Also - i bought her a christmas present, and she didn't buy me one - and even though i told her it wasn't a serious present (i bought her some socks and some small animal figures she likes) i still feel like it's sending her a signal that i'm too dependant and needy for her approval (which is how i feel, but i really don't want that to come across!).
Fact is, that i am definitely very much in love with her, and i've planned to ask her on new years eve if she wanted to become serious with me, but now i'm afraid that i can't make it happen, and i'm even more afraid that when i see her again it'll be more of the same "insecure" me. We haven't arranged another date, but we've talked about spending time in the holidays, and we're going to the same new years.
So... What should i do? I allmost feel like admitting to her that i felt like crap yesterday and didn't feel like myself, but i'm still afraid that it'll come across as being needy for her approval - and i know that's an attraction killer.
Please... Advice :-/
Also, thanks for reading!