Fell in love with 2nd cousin... She's gone now, need advice?

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10-08-13, 02:58 PM
HifiPenguin

Fell in love with 2nd cousin... She's gone now, need advice?

For the longest time I convinced myself that I did not need a partner in my life, for I am very young (17) and it would only get in my way at this age. For several years I was single and convinced myself I was happy, focusing on school, my job, my body (working out/diet.) While this time, I've been getting immense amount of attention from gay men and women, which only made me more confident and led to a bit of arrogance. Though many people consider me a very nice person and a really cool guy, I knew that while I focused on all these things that simply revolved around me I was losing something. The lack of love from a women, which I did not even consider being the reason for my diminishing consciousness and empathy for others. Life is just not complete without your loved one plain and simple.

A couple of weeks ago a second cousin of mine arrived from a isolated rural town here in my state. From the minute she arrived, it was obvious she had a keen interest in me. Being the arrogant d***he that I was, I was not surprised.I decided I'd get to know her a bit and eventually have sex with her or something. I though about it however and decided I would not go that far, because she's a little younger than me and I would not like her to be all heart broken in the end. However during the 2 weeks of her stay, we flirted a bit, had nice talks, and I basically got to know what a wonderful heart she had and by the day she left, I was in love with her. However before she left, I was planning on giving her a surprise kiss goodbye,however I knew we'd both be sad and longing for each other if I did such a thing, so I decided to leave the house and hit the gym in order to avoid any further attachment between us. However, half way through my workout I regretted what I did and decided to get back and say goodbye. It was too late, she was gone. I feel bad, she probably thinks that I am a d****che because I did not say goodbye and we obviously had a connection, What should I do? She lives two hours away. I have not felt like this in a while, my arrogance has eradicated out of my soul and my level of consciousness and empathy is once again where it once was long ago

What can I do, I want her. Her skin, her hand, her smile, eyes, everything....
10-08-13, 03:40 PM
pcmaster

Thats not love its just a dream you had. You went to gym to dont see her and it was the right decision. Should have stay there and now wouldnt think about her so much. Anyway thinking about her will rob you from oportunity to see allk the othe cool girls around you right now. In the end you get excatly as much love as you gave and reward was equal to the risk taken. Same goes with other girls - you feel attachet only after you invest your time in them. You cousinn was the girl you spend most time with so thats why you have these feelings, cause before you where lonely in this particular way but didnt knew it. Anyway you wanted sex from her since very begining but hesitated and thats when these gay feelings like love started to kick in making you a complete vegetable unable to even say Bye to her. These protective feelings like - shes younger dont wana hurt her beautiful heart bla bla bla. These are actually more like father figure feelings not the lover feelings. She didnt need a father and you didnt need a dauther. Your first thought about having sex with her was right. First thaught is always best cause it come from first heartbeat and if you follow you heart then biggest things are achievable.

So bottom line is forget her. Once you meet beautiful girl go straight on her and previous fail will give you courage and expierience not to fail with this one.
Till then stick with gym until you forget cousin or meet another chick. Its really best you can do - be busy and dont miss what you never had.
10-08-13, 04:02 PM
HifiPenguin

Quote:

Originally Posted by pcmaster [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Thats not love its just a dream you had. You went to gym to dont see her and it was the right decision. Should have stay there and now wouldnt think about her so much. Anyway thinking about her will rob you from oportunity to see allk the othe cool girls around you right now. In the end you get excatly as much love as you gave and reward was equal to the risk taken. Same goes with other girls - you feel attachet only after you invest your time in them. You cousinn was the girl you spend most time with so thats why you have these feelings, cause before you where lonely in this particular way but didnt knew it. Anyway you wanted sex from her since very begining but hesitated and thats when these gay feelings like love started to kick in making you a complete vegetable unable to even say Bye to her. These protective feelings like - shes younger dont wana hurt her beautiful heart bla bla bla. These are actually more like father figure feelings not the lover feelings. She didnt need a father and you didnt need a dauther. Your first thought about having sex with her was right. First thaught is always best cause it come from first heartbeat and if you follow you heart then biggest things are achievable.

So bottom line is forget her. Once you meet beautiful girl go straight on her and previous fail will give you courage and expierience not to fail with this one.
Till then stick with gym until you forget cousin or meet another chick. Its really best you can do - be busy and dont miss what you never had.

Thank you, that's excellent advice. This will help me move on! Thank you. Love is an amazing feeling, but like you said don't mix a vegetable with a hamburger.
10-08-13, 04:32 PM
Valixy

I think that she revealed to you that fortunately you are a normal guy that enjoys getting to know a girl and is capable of falling in love. She probably had such a strong effect on you because you had been repressing those feelings and avoiding girls for some time, so when she entered your world, you were suddenly turned upside down a little bit. If you allow yourself to get to know other girls too from now on, you will definitely discover that you can have similar feelings for another girl and without the young age/family barriers you could have a much happier and fulfilling experience.
11-08-13, 12:12 AM
HifiPenguin

Quote:

Originally Posted by valixy [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I think that she revealed to you that fortunately you are a normal guy that enjoys getting to know a girl and is capable of falling in love. She probably had such a strong effect on you because you had been repressing those feelings and avoiding girls for some time, so when she entered your world, you were suddenly turned upside down a little bit. If you allow yourself to get to know other girls too from now on, you will definitely discover that you can have similar feelings for another girl and without the young age/family barriers you could have a much happier and fulfilling experience.

My mom had noticed that she was interested in me as well, so she gave me a lesson saying it was not okay because she was too young for me and she could get hurt... blah, blah, blah. but eventually said she'd be fine with it as long, if we fell in love, but to wait till we were older. This surprised me, because I thought my mother would be narrow-minded about dating 2nd cousins, but I suppose she is smarter than that. Anyway is it possible that I merely fell in love, because my mother through those words into my subconscious mind, which led me to fall in love with her pretty easily. Because like I said that was not my initial intention.