I love her, she loves me, but it didn't work out..

Hi, I'm Michael, and I'm 17 years old. I felt the need to document my story, to let it all out. It's a sad story, but I've come to accept the outcome. Not everything in life will work as planned, and this is one of them. Thank you for reading.

So, I've loved this girl for a loooooong time
At first, we were just classmates. We started talking to each other on Facebook and gradually, I felt in love with her. She was beautiful, good at school, athletic, nice to everyone and above all, I felt connected and accepted as myself, not as the guy that didn't care about anything I made everyone else believe I was. Talking to her was so fun, because I was free to say whatever I thought. We would talk on facebook/text each other every night on the week-ends and even in the week days when we eventually became best friends.

About a year later, or 7 months ago, I told her I loved her, and she told me that she didn't know what her feelings were for me and said that we should try it out to see if we could be in a actual relationship. Please note that emotionally, she is very different as she isn't a emotional person ( even I am more sensible than she is), so being close to her is very difficult but she said that I was the guy that got the closest to her yet.

Then, as 5 months passed, we kept talking to each other and slowly got closer and closer, but we never acted like an actual couple. We had a lot of inside jokes and we would understand each other almost perfectly. Our relationship back then was very wierd and hard to describe

However, things changed when school was over. One night, while talking on the phone, I told her that I loved her once again and she actually said that she loved me too. Starting from there, we started doing things couples do (calling each other ''babe'', saying I love you frequently, making jokes about our children, etc...), although we weren't officially a couple.

I never felt this happy before. Finally, the first and only person that I had a so special connection with accepted my love. I didn't think I'd need anyone else. I didn't feel like I could ever feel so free and connected with anyone else. I wanted to keep her for myself, so that I would never have to let her go, and everything looked so bright.

Thing is, not everything was perfect. I am naturally a hard-headed person, and she is too. I wanted to see her very often, but we only got to see each other about once a week. She, being very busy and independent ( now I realize maybe she wasn't mature enough for a relationship) felt that it was too much to ask for. Sometimes we don't have a real conversation for 3-4 days straight, which kills me, but she doesn't realize it. At this point, you might wonder if she really loves me, but as I said, she was a very emotionally independent person so although she admits that she has so much fun and enjoys my company so much, we still didn't talk to each other as much as I thought we, as an unofficial couple, should.

Two more months go by, and here we are, today. We had just decided that things weren't working out, despite our efforts. Main reason? I was too possessive for her liking and she needed some breathing space. In my opinion, she just wasn't ready for a relationship but it's such a shame since I've worked this hard to make it work for us. I should feel sad, but I knew that it would come one day. We loved talking to each other as friends, but she wasn't ready to go further. Not with me, not with anyone else. I am mad that the only person that I ever wanted to be mine was so close, and now I need to let her go. Sure, she still wants us to be best friends, but I don't think I can endure seeing her with someone else. Plus, school is starting soon (we are going to different schools but they are 10 mins apart from each other) and there will be little to none communication between us. As a couple, we could have gone to visit each other at
our school to make things work but now, there will be no reason to. In name, we will still be best friends but we will each live our separate lives. I would've done anything to make our relationship work, but now it's too late. I will have to painfully endure the fact that the person that once was closest to me will slowly fade away, and I can't do anything to change that. Our relationship will eventually become a faint memory. 2 years of my life, gone...

She told me that at first, she thought it could work out, but we messed up somewhere along the way.. I wonder if it's true, or we were just never meant to be.

Our relationship can be described as a mountain.
We started from being strangers.
Then became friends, and best friend.
We almost were a happy couple.
And now, it's time to go downhill..