First Crush, Rejected. Now lost.

Hi. I've had this crush on a girl for 4 years and over a year ago, she 'kinda' rejected me in an email by avoiding all of the points and just implying it. Just last week, our friends went to a park late at night, my friends pulled her aside, and almost forced her to talk to me. I wasnt supposed to hear that conversation, because they were over 50 feet away from me near whispering. I was always in the dumps when she was around, I never spoke a word.. now im known as the 'mute'. She didn't want to see me hurt that night on the swings, but she came up to me when we were alone and.. heard me crying. She sat down by me, and tried cheering me up by cracking some jokes, but it was too easy to spot and I felt even more worthless.

Now I feel alone, cold and downright believing in the fact that I may never find someone. My friend has gotten hit on by a girl at least a dozen times this year and hit on by more guys than i did girls, in fact I've never gotten anything as close to a 'look' from someone. Its hard for me to even think about another girl, my whole life (im 18- almost 19), i've only had one girl in my mind, one girl that filled every void, a girl that liked everything i liked and didnt like what i didnt like. she'd think of an idea, and that same idea would have already been in my head.. we think alike.. and everything about her is so adorable. Now I have been around other girls these last 4 years and let me tell you, none of them are even worth a second glance.

I dont know where to start. I've pretty much decided to wait and see what college brings. Knowing there is only 35 days left of high school left. But this girl.. thats been on my mind, is still my friend. All of our friends hang out, and when Im with her.. i still cant take my eyes off her. I know its wrong and I almost burst into tears just hearing her voice behind me. She has a few guy friends, all of which i know want her, and are just playing her to get her on their side.. i wish i could protect her.. but i cant. i dont know how to get over this girl if i continue to see her for years to come. If somehow I do start to get over her, I'll just see her with another sleazy boyfriend that just wants her body and i'll want to die... i dont know how to coop with this. i wish i could talk to her.. but i promised i would never bother her again.. Crying, that night at the park.. she said i never bothered her.. but it was all in an attempt to make me feel better. and i dont know what i could and couldn’t take seriously. i'd like to be a closer friend of hers.. just so i can look out for her, but other than that nothing else. the thing of it is, im so quiet around her.. i sit on a chair when our friends are having conversations and i stair at the wall & the floor. My heart pumps so hard that i feel it in my head and i become light headed.. i dont know how i could open my mouth in an attempt to be a better friend to her, everything i feel is inside.. and nothing has ever been portrayed on the outside.. Because she still wants to be friends. she said that i changed all of her views on life and thanks me for that.. she wants me around, but.. i dont know if i can handle sitting in a corner listening and watching her have fun with everyone, smiling and laughing while im crying my heart out, screaming on the inside... and having me just sit there.. its so pathetic...

it happen to me too...i like somebody and yet she just want to stay in good buddy status...i chat with her often and listen to her problem...the only problem that is the girl might see you as a bigger brother not as a lover that you might think...i suggest get her to tell you what place are you currently is in her heart...there is oso another reason that she might have another guy in her heart...wadever you do just let these stuff go by nature...wad is not yours is not yours...have a postive life and stay happy...saddness can't throw away problem surrounding you...

same here. got rejected by my grad date last week. the one crush that i really really really liked. oh well, college brings more and better girls!

I think it may be hard, but you need to move on. I know it may be hard, but try not to have any contact with the person.

well i got rejected too(welcome to the club haha), i know how hard it is for you to move on. sometimes people don't see what they had till they loose it. you never know. but at the same time just try to move on

you sissy get a grip of your self!!! do you even have balls wait of course you are but you don't deserve them.

firstly try to at least talk to her but don't give her the feeling that you are wierd or some thing, basicly just be your self and what ever comes in your mind say it out!!! don't hold it in accept the bit about you still like her tell her that lie later..when she comftable with it!! And those guy who want her body tell go to them and tell them to fcuk off even if you can't at the moment becuase of your sissy atitude well you better start to act bit tuff at least like a man!! If you keep this act of your up like all quit she will be out of your reach god no what will happen..so make a move alrdy not neccarily go to her and tell her that u like but make your way up to her slowly!!

Reading your post piss me off, why does it piss me off? becuase i was once like that untill some one i used to like went out of my reach. Until i change my act..

And if you still act liek this i feel sorry for girl who is going to be with you in the furture, why? becuase if any thing happen you can't even defend her in say or physical.

Sorry about the language but i got told this once..and it change me so i hope it helps you too and sorry if it souded but it the truth.

Good luck

its so amazing they we have nearly the exact same problem.

but the thing is its foolish love with me. i cant stop thinking. ah its nice to see people going trough the same thing i am. makes me think im not all alone after all