He is just looking for sex or relationship?
Hi, I have known a guy in early June, and he is actually my friend's friend. We chatted on FB and after 2 weeks, we went on a date. The date went extremely well...the next day, we continue to make plans for dates on the following weeks. During our dates, he likes to discuss a lot of topics about relationship so we could get to know each others. He even asked me about my thought about marriage, if both of us are together, whether I can follow him back to his hometown one day. Also during this time, he texts me quite often on daily basis, sometimes telling he misses me and all that.
Everything is very positive, until the day we had a serious topic on 'marriage', he told me he has no idea on when he wanna get married, and he has nvr thought of that, and to him, marriage is just a certification and he is not ready. But he said I have thought of marriage, and if we are together he is afraid that if it didn't work out, it will waste my time.
Btw, I forgot to mentioned that he is 4 years old younger than me, he is 29 and I'm 33. He has known my age before we date, so age isn't a problem for both of us. But he said timing is. During our last exclusive talk in early July, we discussed about how will it be if we really in a relationship, and our conclusion (more of his conclusion) is : to let it progress naturally.
After that, he has cut down his sms, no more 'i miss you' messages, from meeting 3-4 times a week to maybe just once a week.... I felt very uncomfortable with his sudden change, and i decided to take charge by try to SMS him, ask him out for dinner etc.
When i text him, he will reply but it usually ended my SMS as the last reply, or he will just stop replying me. There is once I went for a trip and din text him for few days, and he will text me back ask me how's my trip, when I will be back etc...The day after I'm back he started to text me again...and two days after SMS with him, he suddenly ask me if I wanna have sex with him. I took the chance of asking him whether he treats me as his gf or just friend, and he mentioned I'm just friend to him. Anyway, I have rejected and told him that I'm looking for a relationship not sex only friendship. He did apologize on the next day saying he never think much that night, and felt the urge to ask me.
After that incident, we did went for one dinner date and a movie date, he seemed OK and is able to joke about the 'sex question' thing. We just chat like friend, and nothing else. he never tried to hold my hands or touch me during the date. When I felt that we are not heading anywhere, I stop SMS him and want to let him go.
3 days later, he text me again, for that whole week, we have dinner for 3 continuous day together. As he knows that I am alone, and need someone accompany for dinner....
I would like to ask a guy opinion on : what's this guy thinking? If he doesn't want to be in a relationship with me, he should just cut it off. And he also know that I will not simply have intimacy with him cause that's not what I'm looking for. However, the fact of him texting me when I least expected gave me hope at the same time confused. I thought maybe he just needs a company. Yesterday I text him and chat him about my family problems, he replied a few SMS but ended with my SMS as the last one, which leaves the chat hanging...
Can anyone of you give me some advise from a male's perspective? I thought he has feelings for me, but he wasn't that caring as he used to be, yet he still choose to date me out, and usually he pays the bills. I have a feeling that he is just using me to fill up his 'lonely' time or just need a casual company.
