She was the Violinist and I was the Violin
I posted a topic on this forum a few months ago about a girl that I fell head over heels for. Everyone responded with a positive attitude and told me to go for it and after a lot of thinking I decided to go for it. We went out quite a few times and I considered her my girlfriend and I loved every second of it. But, I guess she didn't feel the same way, I should of thought it was funny that she would never offer to pay and never refuse any of my attempts to spoil her. We even talked about going to our graduation party together. All of my friends tried to tell me that she was a horrible person and that I could do better but, I didn't see it. She has been canceling on me more and more and she tells me about guys in our school she thinks are hot. During lunch we were talking about our grad party and she outright said "I don't think I want to go with anyone from our school", it felt as though someone hit me in the stomach with a baseball bat. I meant nothing to her and she played me for a fool.
The worst part about the whole thing is that if I had a chance to go back 10 times and decide whether or not to ask her out knowing this would happen then, I would do it every time. I still have feelings for her even though she hurt me so bad, even though she couldn't care less for me. I.....I just want her to be happy even if it's not with me and I feel like an idiot for still having feelings for her. I can't forget her but, I want to; I pray everyday that I can stop thinking about her even though I know I can't. It's hard to see her everyday knowing that all she has to do is ask and me heart is hers (ya I know it's pathetic). I just don't feel like dating anymore after this and I want to know if this will stick with me and influence my outlook on women because right now I just feel awful.
