Hi everyone
I have gotten myself in a big knot and need help.
I am with my boyfriend for 3 years and we love each other very much.
As a girlfriend, I have always promoted honesty in our relationship as
i think it is the most important thing for a relationship to work. In the past,
my boyfriend has told me several lies which damaged our trust and took a
long time to heal.
So heres the problem. We have both told each other about our pasts. He knows
about the one other person that I have slept with and that is all good. In a
conversation last night, he was telling me about how his ex cheated on him etc.
I had known about this for years however it was only last night that he revealed
that she had not had sex with the other man like he had lead me to believe and
also that they were on a break during this event.
So basically, all his disgust was at this girl giving oral to another man. My problem
is that I have, before our relationship, actually done this with another man. Now
that I know that he see this to be as serious as full on sex, I feel like I've lied to
him over it. I am so ashamed. This event happened when I was 16 and was traumatic
and so I blocked it out of my life and it all came crashing down on me this morning.
I desperately want to be honest with him but he is a very angry man and he says
that if he ever found out I lied to him, he would loose his ability to trust anyone as I
am usually such a brutally honest person.
Help, I feel I should be honest, but I am so scared that his opinion will change of me
forever.
(sorry for the long post)