The Spark = Dead...

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28-08-10, 04:03 AM
lovefool87

The Spark = Dead...

Okay, I know a few of you are aware of my current relationship (my bf used to scream like a girl during sex, lol) Well, I love him very much but I don't feel that I am "in" love with him. He is good on paper and stuff, but some of the things he does really gross me out and in turn, turn me off altogether. This has been on my mind for a while, I figured what's the harm in getting some feedback.

1. He claims that he HAS NEVER masturbated. This disturbs me. Even I masturbate. I want a more sexually independent boyfriend who enjoys masturbating and such, this way he is not completely relying on me for sexual satisfaction. (it gets flippin old)

2. He is super hairy. I don't mind body hair, honestly! I really don't! But he doesn't do ANY kind of "manscaping" and it is a little gross. My past boyfriends were hairy but were able to make it sexy, not totally disturbingly hairy.

3. Let's just let the cat out of the bag. The poop and gas thing. When he uses the toilet and goes number two, there are available fans, but he doesn't use them. He also doesn't use the provided air sanitizers, so he stinks up any area outside the bathroom as well as inside... he also claims it wasn't him when he farts in bed. It used to be funny, but now I am starting to think that he actually thinks that it isn't him. He will say to me "It wasn't me" with a completely straight face.

So he was raised in a super christian family household, where they didn't listen to music OR EVEN OWN A TV.

Although he has accomplished a lot in his life, (a house of his own at 24, has bought both of his cars himself, payed for his own college) he is mentally and socially inept.

I don't know what would be considered "normal" I guess I am average, I come from a divorced family, live in the suburbs of Houston, and grew up watching nickelodeon and disney channel.

I am not saying that people who had a different childhood from me are weird, but this guy is super odd. It is like he doesn't know basic human interaction (what would be considered rude or creepy)

My best friend said for me to wait another couple of weeks (starting my last semester of cosmetology school) and if my feelings for him are still "eww" then I need to start to dismantle the relationship. (If I tried a clean break, he would most likely do something dramatic like threaten suicide or something else.)

He also pees all over the bathroom. Even my magazines become victims! (We are talking Vogue and Vanity Fair, here)

I just don't think he is the one, and I know a lot of you want me to end things with him, I just need to know how I can do it so I don't feel like a total bitch, and he doesn't slit his wrists.

-Trapped and confused!!!!!
28-08-10, 04:07 AM
lahnnabell

Oh my God. I really have no idea how you put up with any of this for this long. Like... wow. You've listed so many dealbreakers here, most of which fall under "personal hygiene". He sounds like an absolutely disgusting individual.

I think you should skip sparing his feelings and just get it over with.

I think I now understand why he rushed your relationship by showering you with things (the puppy, begging you to move in, etc.). He needs a mommy. Ew.
28-08-10, 04:11 AM
tking25

Honestly, if you don't know he's the one, then he's not the one. When you find "him", you will know. Also, you shouldn't plan to break up with someone based around making sure you don't hurt them. DO IT HOW YOU WANT TO, and tell him how you really feel, You will do both of yourselves a favor in doing this, even if it hurts.
28-08-10, 04:13 AM
lovefool87

UGh you are so right! You know, I've tried breaking up with him and he becomes a little boy. I need to seriously remove my tampon and not care! I start classes on monday, so I'll be surrounded by people my age-ish in my kind of situation (cosmetologist). For most of the summer I've just been around him and my parents because all my friends are out of state. Big bummer. I need a MAN in my life. Here's hoping school will help with my sense of self-worth to where I can do this and be done with it! I'm sick of dating Gemini boys!
28-08-10, 04:16 AM
ShannonMI

Have you ever voiced any of your concerns? The manscaping issue and the poop and gas issue? Maybe he doesn't realize some women like a tidy genital area. As for the poop and gas issue, he's a guy. Some men just don't care about that kind of stuff like us girls. Asking him to spray and turn the vent on after he goes #2 isn't out of line. The same goes for pissing all over the bathroom (how gross). As for the masterbating issue, you said he was raised in a super religious home. Maybe he was taught that masterbating was a sin. You could ask him what the deal is with that, but if he doesn't like to masterbate then he just doesn't. There really isn't anything you can do about that. The other things though, you can address.
28-08-10, 04:18 AM
Gigabitch

Oh, my freaking God, HELL NO. He pees on your magazines?

Yuck. Get rid of this smelly brute. What a picture: hairy, au natural, stanky, socially retarded weird dude squealing like a girl during sex.

Do him a favor. Tell him the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Try not to be hurtful, but help him to recognize all of these awful personal traits so he doesn't carry them forward into his next relationship.

Oh, and your girlfriend who told you to stick with him and give him a chance? She should try dating him.
28-08-10, 04:24 AM
sookie6

this is a whole list!!!

I don't think you'll ever be able to find him sexy even if he changed all his ways tomorrow.

OMG how can you feel like having sex with him!!!

I think you should think about breaking up. This guy is not right for you.

He will find another girl whose hygien expectations will level out with his (they do exist too)

No mercy, just get rid of him.
28-08-10, 04:27 AM
Gigabitch

Quote:

Originally Posted by sookie6 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

He will find another girl whose hygien expectations will level out with his (they do exist too)

Yeah! Maybe we should hook him up with this girl:

[url]http://www.loveforum.net/ask-female-forum/45039-vagina-odor.html[/url]
28-08-10, 04:29 AM
sookie6

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gigabitch [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Yeah! Maybe we should hook him up with this girl:

[url]http://www.loveforum.net/ask-female-forum/45039-vagina-odor.html[/url]

That is so funny!!!! I'm laughing my head out!!!!
28-08-10, 04:30 AM
ShannonMI

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gigabitch [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Yeah! Maybe we should hook him up with this girl:

[url]http://www.loveforum.net/ask-female-forum/45039-vagina-odor.html[/url]

Hahahahahahaha too funny
28-08-10, 04:31 AM
lahnnabell

Quote:

Originally Posted by ShannonMI [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Have you ever voiced any of your concerns? The manscaping issue and the poop and gas issue? Maybe he doesn't realize some women like a tidy genital area. As for the poop and gas issue, he's a guy. Some men just don't care about that kind of stuff like us girls. Asking him to spray and turn the vent on after he goes #2 isn't out of line. The same goes for pissing all over the bathroom (how gross). As for the masterbating issue, you said he was raised in a super religious home. Maybe he was taught that masterbating was a sin. You could ask him what the deal is with that, but if he doesn't like to masterbate then he just doesn't. There really isn't anything you can do about that. The other things though, you can address.

A man his age should already know how to practice good hygiene. And how to be respectful of others who spend time in or near his personal space. He's a grown man, and it's like he's expecting lovefool to play mommy for him. My ex was like this, but I didn't realize how bad it was until we moved in together. We lasted 6 months before it (and other reasons) killed us.
28-08-10, 04:37 AM
ShannonMI

Quote:

Originally Posted by lahnnabell [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

A man his age should already know how to practice good hygiene. And how to be respectful of others who spend time in or near his personal space. He's a grown man, and it's like he's expecting lovefool to play mommy for him. My ex was like this, but I didn't realize how bad it was until we moved in together. We lasted 6 months before it (and other reasons) killed us.

I agree with this. I just thought if lovefool wanted to continue the relationship, she could address some of the issues. Regardless if she stays with him or not, she should tell him how disgusting he is. Maybe in doing so, she'll spare the next girl he dates from his poor hygiene and bad manners.
28-08-10, 04:45 AM
hurt_confuzd

Quote:

Originally Posted by ShannonMI [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I agree with this. I just thought if lovefool wanted to continue the relationship, she could address some of the issues. Regardless if she stays with him or not, she should tell him how disgusting he is. Maybe in doing so, she'll spare the next girl he dates from his poor hygiene and bad manners.

If you were disgusting, would you be okay with someone telling you how disgusting you are? Would that really be appropriate?
28-08-10, 04:50 AM
lahnnabell

Quote:

Originally Posted by hurt_confuzd [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

If you were disgusting, would you be okay with someone telling you how disgusting you are? Would that really be appropriate?

Hahahaha. Okay. Done.
28-08-10, 05:52 PM
Progressus

Quote:

Originally Posted by lovefool87 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I just don't think he is the one, and I know a lot of you want me to end things with him, I just need to know how I can do it so I don't feel like a total bitch, and he doesn't slit his wrists.

I think that's what it comes down to: You don't feel that he's the one!

You never know if someone is "the one", you never know if you're just viewing that somebody through rose-colored glasses.

However, if you don't have that feeling at all, then I can tell you 100% that he is NOT the one for you.

As for the stuff you listed that's annoying you: I'm a man, and even I'd feel disgusted by his behavior. So, trust me, there ARE men out there that comply with what you're looking for.

As for the wrist-slitting: Yeah, I've dated and slept with girls that seemed to fall in the same category. I understand your thinking, I wouldn't end it abruptly either.

Apart from that... good luck!