how badly did i screw up?
i'm 35, he's 39.
last month i got spooked. i realized how much i love this man, how important he had become to me and my happiness. i hadn't gotten any sleep, and i hadn't heard from him the night before, which was not normal for us. it turned out everything was okay, but i'd spent the night terrified that he'd fallen down the stairs or had heart attack. it was stupid, but i panicked.
we talked in the morning, and he was alright. i wasn't mad. i was relieved. but my nerves were raw, and i hadn't slept, and i started freaking out about what am i going to do if i ever lose him for real? what if he leaves me? what if we have kids, and i love him even more then than i do now?
i didn't talk to him until that evening when he sent me a message that was self-blaming for what happened. i tried to reassure him that i wasn't mad at him. i told him i needed to think. i told him i was trying not to poke at it, and i needed to sleep. he asked me if i was breaking up with him. i told him that wasn't what i wanted. he told me that wasn't an answer and i had 15 minutes to call him back with an answer.
long story short, we didn't break up. but he's held it against me since. he started to withdraw. finally, last weekend, he broke up with me. he says he can't understand loving someone so much that i'd consider breaking up with him to avoid the pain of losing him later.
is this truly an unforgivable sin? need i point out that i didn't break up with him? that i asked for time and for sleep, and i knew it'd all be okay once the shock wore off?