Let Her Go or Give It Another Chance?
Hi!
Story in short:
I've been in a relationship with this girl "T" for 3.5 years before I got dumped due to my infidelity. Our relationship was long distance half of the time and was characterized by a lot of highs and lows caused by her insecurity/lack of trust and need for enormous amounts of attention. I regretted my infidelity and I tried to get her back for a couple of months after the break up but she constantly denied me. Then after a couple of weeks of me not calling her, T offered me another chance. I refused it because I felt she was only focused on forgiving me and not about changing other parts of our relationship. She did promise to try and change but she had done that several times in the past ant it was always short lived. Despite everything, I feel I might have made a wrong decision because she is the love of my life and maybe something drastic as 3 months off could cause a change in her behavior. Should I try and get back with T?
Background:
I love and always did love this girl incredibly much. I made plans for our future, and even considered staying in the US for her (I am an international student). She also always had a lot of love and support for me but she was always insecure and untrusting, even though I never gave her a reason for it (besides my infidelity in the last couple of months).
Also, it seems like she is two different people. When she is happy she is the most lovable person in the world, but when her sudden mood change occurs, she becomes rude and ignorant. Love was never the problem for us but it was dealing with daily highs and lows caused by her behavior.
Because of frequent arguments caused by her emotional rollercoaster we have developed a pretty quick and efficient way of solving arguments that would allow us to move on quickly. However, the reason that caused arguments (her insecurity, need for enormous amounts of attention, and lack of trust) rarely improved for the better.
Also, our communication was always good. We talked every day for at least two hours. However, the time we spent on the phone decreased in the last 6 months (going from 2 hours talking a day to 45 minutes) due to increased responsibilities and obligations I was facing and socializing I was finally doing. Then, she started being really disappointed and mad at me. Our communication was a constant argument and I always had to apologize on the phone for something I didn't feel guilty for.
In this intense arguing period, I met two girls (A & J) that I slept with and I had an emotional attachment with. This emotional attachment wasn't nothing similar to what I had with T. T at her good times made me feel the happiest man on Earth and at bad times she made me regret being with her. After T found out about J she dumped me and I immediately regretted what I had done. I stopped contact with J but I felt insecure and lonely after the breakup and I remained in light contact with A. I was trying to get back with T but she constantly refused me. At the same time, A was really warming up to me (she doesn�t know about T) and now I am at the situation where both of them want to be with me.
I feel the love bond I have with T is once in a lifetime but I feel her treatment of me is not what I want it to be sometimes. Now I have to choose whether I should try and give our relationship another chance or I should leave the love of my life (and i am the love of her life) and look for something better.
What should I do?
