Hopeless Guy

Hi all, I'm in my late 20's fairly good looking, and I never had a serious relationship before. I find it easier to talk and flirt to girls I don't really like, but when the girl I really like comes, it isn't easy. There have been just 3 instances in my life where there was an initial mutual physical attraction between me and a girl and I ruin it by texting alot being too eager and moving TOO fast giving a very BAD impression. These are things I know I am not supposed to do, I just do it out of eagerness, impulse, excitement, and nervousness. The last one was a girl I met overseas during a vacation who's a few years older. We had mutual attraction at first, we text a lot and we went out a couple of times too before I returned to my home. We agreed to meet each other overseas too before I left for home. When I got home, I start to get too eager, excited, and a bit too happy and I start doing the things I am not supposed to do like text too much and say things too fast like "LY" and then worry too much about what I did. we have known each other for only two weeks, and it's that fast I blew it already, from my experience before it took a bit longer. She has now ignored all my messaged over the last few days. Normally I don't text girls alot and they just text on their own. It's those things that I know I obviously shouldn't do but do it anyway. I think I have lost her completely.

I know what I did wrong, and am doing wrong and it's so stupid. I know this is whining alot but I just needed some people to talk to instead of my friends who will ridicule me for years to come. I do not know when the next girl will come maybe years again, but I shouldn't make those same mistakes again.. I am worried that I lost her.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by yktfu [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Hi all, I'm in my late 20's fairly good looking, and I never had a serious relationship before. I find it easier to talk and flirt to girls I don't really like, but when the girl I really like comes, it isn't easy. There have been just 3 instances in my life where there was an initial mutual physical attraction between me and a girl and I ruin it by texting alot being too eager and moving TOO fast giving a very BAD impression. These are things I know I am not supposed to do, I just do it out of eagerness, impulse, excitement, and nervousness. The last one was a girl I met overseas during a vacation who's a few years older. We had mutual attraction at first, we text a lot and we went out a couple of times too before I returned to my home. We agreed to meet each other overseas too before I left for home. When I got home, I start to get too eager, excited, and a bit too happy and I start doing the things I am not supposed to do like text too much and say things too fast like "LY" and then worry too much about what I did. we have known each other for only two weeks, and it's that fast I blew it already, from my experience before it took a bit longer. She has now ignored all my messaged over the last few days. Normally I don't text girls alot and they just text on their own. It's those things that I know I obviously shouldn't do but do it anyway. I think I have lost her completely.

I know what I did wrong, and am doing wrong and it's so stupid. I know this is whining alot but I just needed some people to talk to instead of my friends who will ridicule me for years to come. I do not know when the next girl will come maybe years again, but I shouldn't make those same mistakes again.. I am worried that I lost her.

---

darling, it's nt suppose to be easy, in the sense of, not scary.

what i mean is, everyone finds it easier to ask out people they only kind of like, than people they really like.

the thing is, we are all in it together. we all have loads more to lose when we really love or like and love someone...

but oh, everything is so much more intense and better and, in time, more comfortable and natural with someone we love, as oppose to someone we kind of like or not...

unless you are pathologically needy, (unless you have a personality disorder), saying how you really feel, when you feel it, is not ruining anything, it's a good thing.

unless you are stalking someone.

how can you ever have a chance at love, unless you say how you feel when you feel it.

again, unless you are a creepy stalker, saying you love someone in the first two weeks, if you really mean it, and back it up with actions is legit.

however, she might not believe you, and thinks you are playing her...

so, you got to show her you were serious and it's not some sort of game you are playing...

people lie so much about their feelings, for various reasons, that when you come clean with someone they might not believe you.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by eve.ashley [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

darling, it's nt suppose to be easy, in the sense of, not scary.

what i mean is, everyone finds it easier to ask out people they only kind of like, than people they really like.

the thing is, we are all in it together. we all have loads more to lose when we really love or like and love someone...

but oh everything is so much more intense and better and, in time, more comfortable and natural with someone we love, as oppose to someone we kind of like or not...

unless you are pathologically needy, (unless you have a personality disorder), saying how you rally feel, when you feel it, is not ruining anything, it's a good thing.

unless you are stalking someone.

how can you ever have a chance at love, unless you say how you feel when you feel it.

again, unless you are a creepy stalker, saying you love someone in the first two weeks, if you really mean it, and back it up with actions is legit.

however, she might not believe you, and thinks you are playing her...

so, you got to show her you were serious and it's not some sort of game you are playing...

people lie so much about their feelings, for various reasons, that when you come clean with someone they might not believe you.

---

I am have quite a dependent personality especially when I am not alone. Yes what I did was a bit creepy and I know it. :( We're about 3000km apart and I do not know how to back it up with action. I am really bad at this! I think I should not message her for a few weeks and get my stuff right but I am not really hoping that'll fix it. oh! and thanks alot for responding!!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by yktfu [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I am have quite a dependent personality especially when I am not alone. Yes what I did was a bit creepy and I know it. :( We're about 3000km apart and I do not know how to back it up with action. I am really bad at this! I think I should not message her for a few weeks and get my stuff right but I am not really hoping that'll fix it. oh! and thanks alot for responding!!

---

you don't sound codependent to me.

you would need to be older than you are for such a diagnoses and have a few (failed) relationships with narcissist people.

that one of your paretns is a narcissist does not automatically equal you have a codependent personality.

more likely, you are just a quality human in a quite rubbish world.


maybe you need to change therapists, yours doesn't sound too impressive to me...

darling, she probably is scared, of long distance, of you lying and playing her...

majority people in this world are sick buggers, and all you have to do is show her you are not one of them.

it's not suppose to be easy, just worth it.

for God's sake do not go down without a fight.

fight for her and you're chance to love and be loved.

i say this for her sake as much as yours....

sometimes the only difference between eternal hell and freedom and salvation is one human man, caring enough not to give up...

please do not give up on her before you are sure there is nothing there...

people give up on love too much, and out of fear...

there are only two emotions in this world

Love and Fear

everything good comes from acting out of Love

everything bad comes from acting out of Fear

the choice is ours, every moment of our life...

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by eve.ashley [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

you don't sound codependent to me.

you would need to be older than you are for such a diagnoses and have a few (failed) relationships with narcissist people.

that one of your paretns is a narcissist does not automatically equal you have a codependent personality.

more likely, you are just a quality human in a quite rubbish world.


maybe you need to change therapists, yours doesn't sound too impressive to me...

darling, she probably is scared, of long distance, of you lying and playing her...

majority people in this world are sick buggers, and all you have to do is show her you are not one of them.

it's not suppose to be easy, just worth it.

for God's sake do not go down without a fight.

fight for her and you're chance to love and be loved.

i say this for her sake as much as yours....

sometimes the only difference between eternal hell and freedom and salvation is one human man, caring enough not to give up...

please do not give up on her before you are sure there is nothing there...

people give up on love too much, and out of fear...

there are only two emotions in this world

Love and Fear

everything good comes from acting out of Love

everything bad comes from acting out of Fear

the choice is ours, every moment of our life...

---

Hi Eve! Thank you very much. The times we met each other it was really fun and I'd like to fight for that!~ I don't think I am pathologically needy, I just have a very timid personality which isn't really attractive.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by yktfu [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Hi Eve! Thank you very much. The times we met each other it was really fun and I'd like to fight for that!~ I don't think I am pathologically needy, I just have a very timid personality which isn't really attractive.

---

oh good god who lied to you this much.

you are the most attractive personality imaginable...

seriously reconsider forgetting what you know about yourself and doing a bit more research.

change everything...

therapists, friends and patterns of behaviour and see if you were simply surrounded by arse holes.

check out the meme at my profile plz. it's under albums.

:lol:

Try to behave genuinely. No need of extra excitement.