passion is gone.

in the first girl i loved, i was very passionate. i yave her flowres and wrote her songes. if she (for example) would cheat me, or would hurt my feelings, i would have physical pain. the stomach would feel torn, heart would beat faster, i would panic very much, i would do crazy things and would be desperate. i would be angered, smashing things, and destructive. i think i cried easily. i thought me more romantic than now.

now, a girl cheats me, i laugh, end it with her, and forget her. she is another 'notch in the best post'. it seems like humans are 'predestined' to evil and they are weak, even dishonest to themselve, so relationships are senseless. i don't think me cynical, in stead of which, i really want a good relationship, and believe it rare though possible. i want romance, love, and commitment, but i think it, that it is senseless to give efforts (roses, songs, emotional self, etc) to a girl who might, probably, likely leaves me. relationships seem unpermanent, so all i can ever enjoy from that is sex and affection. so i do not get attached... it is unfortunate... because alle girls seem to want attachment, but do not prepare themselve for permanence. it is like an incomplete puzzle - time is wasted and nothing achieved.

i wonder if other men (or maybe women) feels this way after years of dating.