I don`t understand my girl friend

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29-11-05, 03:53 AM
Martin

I don`t understand my girl friend

I am 44 years old and my girl friend is 32 years old (she posted here, her name is Vika)

For a period of 5 month we lived together and i experienced that she was showing only little emotion (imo) regardless what sphere of live but also as far as her emotions for me where concerned
After I had spoken to her about it - that i would wish more warmer emotions- suddenly the other day she showed more intense emotion - like at the push of a button. And she has been keeping on until now (for one month now)
To me that sudden change is very curious and that i don´t understand how this is possible.
Is that all kind of fake. I must admit that i like to marry her. she comes from Ukraine. and as the date of marriage is quite close now maybe she doesn`t want to risk anything. maybe she doesn`t love me but only wants to stay in my contry. i am quite confused.
29-11-05, 03:55 AM
Junsui

So she didn't show a lot of emotion, you talked to her about it and asked her to show more emotion and so she starts to show more emotion and now you find it odd?
29-11-05, 03:59 AM
Martin

Quote:

Originally Posted by Junsui

So she didn't show a lot of emotion, you talked to her about it and asked her to show more emotion and so she starts to show more emotion and now you find it odd?

I don`t understand how can one person be one day with little emotion and the other day full of emotions. to me itst strange. there is nothing more i could say. if a person loves me i think would show it on the first day, maybe after a while witout speaking about. but if i have to mention it and ask for it, can it be love?
29-11-05, 04:01 AM
Junsui

Where are you from?
29-11-05, 04:03 AM
Martin

Quote:

Originally Posted by Junsui

Where are you from?

I am from Germany
29-11-05, 04:14 AM
shh!

Why don't you just let her be herself and stop analyzing the amount of emotion she projects? If you are uncomfortable about her style, perhaps you ought not marry her.

Did you say you've been seeing her only 5 months? That is too soon to get married.
29-11-05, 04:21 AM
clynn

Quote:

Originally Posted by shh!

Did you say you've been seeing her only 5 months? That is too soon to get married.

I agree with this statement.
29-11-05, 05:39 AM
Rosebud

Ok so I know the other person your talking about as I read what she had to say about everything. So you think she's sleeping with someone else because you asked her to show emotion and she did? What were you expecting her to do? Would you be happy if she didn't? See this is why i don't understand guys at all. They ask for something and when it happens they question it... WTF??

This is your own security and for you to have a relationship with her you need to let go of this and realize she is trying to do what you wanted in this forst. She may not have even realized she wasn't showing enough for you in the beginning.
29-11-05, 05:45 AM
jaye

its okay if she don't wanna drive without a spare.
29-11-05, 05:59 AM
Mish

Quote:

Originally Posted by Martin

I don`t understand how can one person be one day with little emotion and the other day full of emotions. to me itst strange. there is nothing more i could say. if a person loves me i think would show it on the first day, maybe after a while witout speaking about. but if i have to mention it and ask for it, can it be love?

So you think she cheated on you based on nothing but the fact that she did not show a lot of emotion until when you asked her to? Alledging somebody of cheating is a very serious accusation, do you have any solid proof to go with your suspicions?

Also, did issues with trust affect many of your relationships in the past?
29-11-05, 08:40 AM
Rosebud

Quote:

Originally Posted by Martin

I don`t understand how can one person be one day with little emotion and the other day full of emotions. to me itst strange. there is nothing more i could say. if a person loves me i think would show it on the first day, maybe after a while witout speaking about. but if i have to mention it and ask for it, can it be love?

This is something you have to figure out on your own. But everyone is different and some people don't show emotion the same way others do. So when you brought something to ehr attention she realized what you needed and acted on it. In your eyes, she can't win. You were unhappy with how she acted so you told her so something would change and to make things work, now she does it and your even more upset with her. This is on you....Not her!